I Will Always Protect You

chapter 28

Wei Ying pov

The night was cold as ever. His whole body shivered as he wrapped his arms around his body. The spare robe he wore around his body was of no use as it barely warm him enough to not shiver. He longed for past robes that he wore as a disciple. Those were much thicker compared to his current ones.

He was hesistant about being here but he thought that this could be the last time he ever had the chance to meet Lan wangji and to end it for good between them.

He remembered being distracted today and was reprimanded by the head cloud weaver plenty of times when he had repeatedly sewn the wrong patterns. The whole of his head was filled with his lover's words

"Tonight, here"

And the passionate kiss they shared before that was hold in contempt. He had told himself many times before that he was not worthy for his lover and they were never meant to last, but during the kiss, the words he told himself went straight out the window.

How could he be so easily swayed ? He should have been firm on his standing and not hesistant. The ever present voice at the back of his head lectured him yet again like tutor reprimanding his student.

"See, now that you've done this, you would regret it later. You would have a hard time sleeping tonight"

"Shut up"

He snapped mentally to his conscious as if he was talking to real person. This continued until he felt arms around him. Strong arms that radiated warmth and security. He melted in those arms before his annoying conscious pulled him back.

"Focus Wei wuxian, or you would regret this"

He pulled the arms away from his back, gently but firm before turning around to face his lover. He was met with Lan Wangji's golden eyes that seemed to glow in the darkness of the workshop  with only a strand of light from the moonlight.

His lover's eyes showed affection with hint of hurt after being pushed away from his lover.

"Wei Ying"

A hand went up to caress Wei wuxian's cheek but was pushed away by Wei wuxian.

"Hanguang Jun, you are engaged. What you are doing now is improper"

A nonchalant yet respectful voice was used to address his lover. Eyes lowered, not daring to meet his eyes. His demeanor now felt uncomfortable but it was long due, it only felt right to act like this.

However, his lover couldn't bare him acting like this. He had long missed his Wei Ying's lovely teasing voice and inappropriate jokes that redden his ears. The Wei Ying infront of him had no resemblance to his lover, the light in his eyes was gone as well as  warmth aura surrounding him that he had longed for. 

Infront of him was only an empty shell of of his lover that he didn't need.

"Wei Ying, stop this"

Wei wuxian startled at the harsh tone from Lan wangji that was never used on him before. He tried to back away from the god but his back was already flat against the wall.

He didn't know what to do, the voice inside of him kept telling him to push away while another part of him wanted to to just run to his lover's arm. The two sides fought fiercely against eachother, the battle inside of him left him motionless on the outside.

Lan wangji reached out his hands towards him, he so desperately wanted to reached out to the once happy Wei Ying that he loved, so much so that he would do anything just to retrieve him back to him. If he needed to lock up his precious so that he never leaves and change due to this cruel world, then so be it.

"Lan zhan"

His ears perked up from the sound of his lover calling him. Wei wuxian looked at him with tears in his ever kaleidoscope eyes that Lan wangji could lose himself in forever. Wei wuxian's hands were held outstretched, he would have run towards the god if it wasn't for that damn voice in him, reminding him to back off.

He knows he shouldn't be doing things. He's aware of what would follow if he did. He should be grateful for this second chance given to him and should never waste it but what was life to him without his lover. Never had he felt so alive and wanted in his life, never had he felt that he was loved.

Sure jiang cheng and shijie loves him and he has a home back in lotus pier , but he can't be under their wing forever. He knows that he has overstayed his welcome and he owes everything in his very existence to them but he didn't want to marry that Wen bastard.

His escape to cloud recesses was very fortunate on his part. He was lucky to have been excepted, learnt something about his dark past and treated so affectionately. He even found himself a lover that saved him and loved him for who he was.

Throughout the whole of his life, he had always been fighting and proving his worth to others, so much so that he had grown tired of it the older he got.

Why can't he just stopped fighting for once ? What was he fighting for ? What was at the end of the rope he so desperately held onto during his times of distress and difficulty ?

Maybe he has found his answer, though the circumstances of them says otherwise. But what was life without closing the eye and taking the risk ?

'Though it's gonna hurt, I am ready for it'

He said internally before running towards his lover's with open arms. The servant facade long gone and forgotten but at this point he could no longer give a damn.

"Lan zhan, where were you all this time? How could you leave me here to fend for myself ? Did you know how much you hurt me ?"

Accusations flew out of his mouth, he knows he would like a whining baby at this point but he didn't care. Lan wangji lowered  his head in guilt and shame but he didn't hesitate to bury his nose in the nape of his lover.

He could spend his whole immortal life wrapped up in his lover's arms, he thought to himself but that was only fantasy. There are more critical things at hand.

"Wei Ying , look at me"

He hesistantly pulled away and looked deep into Wei wuxian brown hopeful eyes.

"I've got some clues and pointers"

"Really ?"

A surge of desperate hope overcame his body in big waves, the feeling was all to familiar and risky but he didn't want to dwell on the last part.

"We can meet eachother in private like this but until then you cannot know me. It's still to dangerous"

Just then, footsteps could be heard form the outside of the workshop, Wei wuxian recognized it all too well.

It was Luo Yu

"Wei Ying, look at me"

His gaze averted back to Lan wangji moon-like face. They had limited time and couldn't afford to waste anymore time like this, he saw the urgency in the god's eyes.

"Meet me here tomorrow at the exact same tine, I will be waiting"

His lover's lips ghost over his forehead which left the supposed kiss to short be one. The door burst open right after that, Wei wuxian looked at the intruder in shocked.

Luo Yu too seem shocked because he didn't expect to see someone up so late while doing his rounds, but he was thankful that's it was his fellow friend and not a some beast waiting to feast on his flesh.

"What are doing up so late ? You scared the living daylights out if me?"

He whispered yell at his friend who looked away out towards the window before back at him and shrugged.

"Oh, I thought I had left something of mine her and came back to check, sorry"

"Whatever that thing was can't it wait for tomorrow ?"

"No, it's precious to me"

"Whatever"

Luo Yu exited the workshop and close the door behind him. Wei wuxian looked out towards the window and searched for any traces left by the god, but there was none.