The Vøid in Yøur Eyes

Well Over the Climax

♫
♪Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh♪
♪Caught in a bad romance♪
♪Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh♪
♪Caught in a bad romance♪
♫
♪Ra ra ah ah ah♪
♪Roma roma ma♪
♪Gaga, ooh la la♪
♪Want your bad romance♪
♪Ra ra ah ah ah♪
♪Roma roma ma♪
♪Gaga, ooh la la♪
♪Want your bad romance♪
♫
♪I want your ugly, I want your disease♪
♪I want your everything as long as it's free♪
♪I want your love♪
♪Love, love, love, I want your love, hey♪
♪I want your drama, the touch of your hand, hey♪
♪I want your leather-studded kiss in the sand♪
♪I want your love♪
♪Love, love, love, I want your love♪
♪Love, love, love, I want your love♪
♫
♪You know that I want you♪
♪And you know that I need you♪
♪I want it bad♪
♪Your bad romance♪
♫
♪I want your love, and I want your revenge♪
♪You and me could write a bad romance♪
♪Oh oh oh oh oh♪
♪I want your love, and all your lover's revenge♪
♪You and me could write a bad romance♪
♪Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh♪
♪Caught in a bad romance♪
♪Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh♪
♪Caught in a bad romance♪
♫
♪Ra ra ah ah ah♪
♪Roma roma ma♪
♪Gaga, ooh la la♪
♪Want your bad romance♪
♫

The radio sang while Slacker was driving a motorboat in the middle of god knows which part of which ocean.

Slacker: "John I have to confess something to you. The day we met, that was no accident. I already knew who you were. See, I was knee deep in shit with the police, and the chief told me he'd let me off if I found you, and handed you over. And I was actually going to do it. But after I met you, and we hung around, driving all over Vegas getting into all sorts of crap, I started to take a liking to you, and then I thought, god, what have I been doing here? Constantly tryin' to keep a gang of fools in line and high on drugs, always tryina one up other gangs, and always runnin' from the goddamn police. It was a shitty life. Very stressful, and it was clearly going nowhere. I knew that sooner or later, I'd get killed off in a gang war, and some idiot would just take my place. I had enough. And for the drugs, I had so much, I could just take it anywhere. So to stop those bastards from catching up to you, and to change my miserable life, I asked you if you'd like to travel the world with me, and before you could even make a sound, I just replied, good, great, let's go! Let's ditch this shitty country. The best drugs come from foreign countries anyway. And thus, we were off. It's not like you had a choice. The chief was already getting suspicious of why I hadn't turned you in yet. It was then or never. I'm... sorry I didn't tell you all this time. I hope you can forgive me."

John took two minutes to digest what he had just heard.

Slacker: "John? Are you gonna throw me off this boat and then shoot me, or... run me over? Maybe wait for a shark to come by?"

John: "I was thinking to gas you up and light you on fire right where you stand but... I've killed so many people I've been attached to that I just don't have it in me anymore. I've lost too many good friends in my life. At this point I just can't give a shit. I like you man. You've helped me more than you could ever imagine. Ever since you took me on this insane trip I haven't heard that damn voice inside my head. I couldn't possibly find a good reason I'd want to kill you, unless you literally pulled a gun on me and tried to kill me."

"Well then... in that case... adios, my good friend."

Slacker shaped his hand into a gun figure and pointed it at John's face.

Slacker: "Your days are outnumbered, evildoer! Bang bang!"

He laughed.
John smiled.

John: "I guess if we were in a movie right now, this would be the climax, huh?"

Slacker: "Oh no, I don't think so. We're already well over all the climaxes in the world, my friend. By the way, by lost too many good friends, did you mean how you killed Michael, or that other guy? I forgot his name."

"How the hell do you know about Michael?"

"You told me, remember?"

"Jeez, what didn't I tell you about my life? You know everything about me."

"Hm... lemme think... you never told me your last name."

"It's Pardo. Johnny Pardo, pleasure to meet ya."

"I can't put my finger on why, but for some reason that last name reminds me of a cop."

"A cop? Whaddaya mean a cop? I'm the furthest you can get from any sort of law enforcer."

"No, a bad cop, like a crooked cop. Like a... a cop who's also a serial killer on the side. An asshole cop. Y'know what I mean?"

"Weird. Who's that lady singing on the radio? I don't think I've ever heard her voice before."

"Her name is... uh... lady googoo, I think."

"Lady googoo? Well that's a strange name for a singer. Sounds like something out of a shitty campus fireside story told by a five year old."

"I guess they like weird names these days. The weirder the better. Say, have you seen these new smartphone thingies?"

"Smartphone? Is that like a cellphone that can talk back to ya or somethin'?"

"No no, it's a touchy thing. Like, it's a phone without buttons, you have to touch it to make it work."

"Wow, what sort of sick perverted inventor came up with that idea?"

"No it's not like that. Here look, I stole one off some crackhead a couple months ago. Take a look. It's called a Samsung Galaxy. Weird name I know, but you can look at pictures of the galaxy on it too, along with any kind of porn you want, so it makes sense I guess. Not sure what Samsung means though."

"Holy shit, how does this work? And it's so fucking bright, it's hurting my eyes! Who thought this was a good idea?"

"It is, man, it is. Remember that internet thing? Well this thing has it somehow. You can look up all sorts of pornography, anywhere that you are. Isn't that wonderful? Not here though. Apparently, the middle of the Caribbean Sea is out of range. Whatever that means."

"I wonder what year we're in right now."

"Well I have no idea but this thing has a calendar. Lemme find it... aha! There it is. The year is... 2010."

"2010?! Jesus, we must be well over fifty by now!"

"Well I can see my reflection on this mobile phone and I look handsome as ever. You've developed alotta wrinkles on your face though. And your hair is almost completely gray now."

"Damn. Time used to feel so slow to me before this whole thing. Like it moved both super slow and super fast, y'know what I mean? Every year felt like ten. It was exhausting. I was on the edge. But after I took this trip with you, it's been moving non stop. So fast it's like we're traveling in time. Teleporting to the future. And I used to have such a hard time forgetting things, all the things I've done, all my horrible depressing memories would constantly bounce around in my head all the time and I could never get rid of 'em. But now, I can barely ever remember anything. It's great! I'm loving it! I've never had so much fun in my life. And it's all thanks to you. Y'know, I think this is the lifestyle for me. I wanna do this with you forever. I wanna keep at this until we overdose someday. Or until we end up in another one of those situations and somehow finally fail to survive."

"Well I hope we do too, but hopefully it won't be at this guy's cruise in the middle of fucking nowhere. Say, what did this guy ever do to make you hate him so much anyway?"

"Goldmouth? That fucking bastard. Back in 1969, he called a seven million dollar hit on me. Got me damn near killed, he did. I lost a tooth because of him. Now he's gonna pay for it."

"*chuckles* Nice number."

"What's so funny 'bout it? How's it nice?"

"It's an internet thing, you wouldn't get it."

"Okay... oh look! There's his cruise! That's his cruise! We found it!"

Slacker lit a joint while he snorted a long line of LSD.
John chewed a cocaine gum.

"Alright, let's go fire this son of a bitch up! Shall we? After you."

"You sure? They always say ladies first."

"Haha, how so very funny. Now jump off before I kick your ass off myself."

"Alright, here we go!"