Once I finally worked up the courage to go to dinner I sat next to Pansy. My eyes wandered as I stirred my food around my plate. I don't exactly know what I was looking for but whatever it was I didn't find it.
"Has anyone seen Draco today?" Blaise shoves a bread roll into his mouth.
"Ask Penelope." Pansy took a polite sip of pumpkin juice. Blaise looks at me with confusion.
"You hung out with Draco?" His jaw still working on the roll, "I thought you hated him."
"No, I didn't and I don't hate him I just prefer not to surround myself with his negativity." I glanced around once more, "he wanted to hang out but I told him to piss off."
Blaise's shoulders sink, "Penelope what's your problem with him? He really tries to make you not hate him but you are making that difficult."
My brain sits on the words for a second. Why does he care so much if I hate him? I don't know why they care so much either. It's not like we don't get along or anything. I try to stay away from drama as much as possible. It helps with my anxiety.
"We've not liked each other ever since we were little. We've agreed to stay out of drama and not be friends." I continue to mess around with my food.
"Have you ever thought that that's how you think of it? Did you talk to him about it? Or are you just assuming he doesn't want to be friends? Draco may be a little self-centered but he just wants people to like him. He's scared of social rejection Penelope." Pansy looked at me with this disappointed look.
I never thought of it like that. I guess I just never liked Draco for some reason. Yeah, he's arrogant and petty but he's never done anything directly to hurt me. Well if you don't count the incident at me and Pansy's 7th birthday party.
"I've got to go." I packed up my stuff and stood up to leave, "see ya guys." And I made my way out of the great hall.
***
I took a deep breath and took the first step up the astronomy tower staircase. My heart was racing. I didn't know what I would say to Draco if he was up there. Apologize maybe? Pansy and Blaise made me feel like shit for blowing him off earlier. So much anxiety built up with every step I took. I hated apologizing for my mistakes. Not because I'm a bad person or anything. I just hate the guilt that comes along with it.
Worst case scenario: Draco gets mad and pushes me off the astronomy tower. Best case scenario: Draco wasn't even there and I could just chill up there for a bit and forget anything ever happened in the first case. I prayed for the second one.
As I take the last step and peak through the door. For a second I thought no one was up there. But my eyes get caught on the blonde sitting at the edge of the astronomy tower. His hair was so silvery that it caught the moon's light when you looked at him from just the right angle.
I step forward a bit and the floorboard creaked. I jumped back behind the doorframe hoping he didn't see me.
"I saw you." he shouts, "I may be arrogant and rude but I'm not blind Parkinson."
I let out a sigh and shuffle my way out into the open. I fiddled with my rings with my eyes on the ground.
"Did you want me to leave?" Before he started to get up I interrupted him.
"No, I uh... came to talk to you actually." I stuttered.
"I thought you didn't like my company" he glances at me.
I slowly make my way over to where he's sat and I sit down next to him. I wasn't a fan of sitting this close to the edge with the current "worst-case scenario" on my mind but I sat anyways.
"I'm sorry" it's better to get it out now I guess, "it was inconsiderate of me to blow you off like that. And I know we- I haven't gotten along with you in the past. I don't know why but I just assumed you hated me so I hated you."
He just sat there like he was waiting for more.
"And I guess maybe I was the one being arrogant." I let out an awkward giggle, "I've always been jealous of how close you and Pansy were and I guess I just felt left out. So instead of saying something about it I just shoved it down and dealt with it the only way I knew how."
"You don't need to give me a sob story Parkinson. We don't have to be friends if you don't want to." It kinda stung the way he used my last name suddenly.
"Yeah..." I shook my head, "I'm sorry I'll just leave."
I stood up to walk away.
And with that, I walked down the steps and left Draco sitting at the top of the tower.
YOU ARE READING
Panic |D.M.|
Fanfiction"Penny" He said it with such confidence as if he actually thought that was a good nickname. "God, everything is about money with you Malfoy" I let out a scoff and roll my eyes. "Maybe that's true" he turns to look at me, a small smirk forming on his...
