tujhe kitna chahne lage hum

chapter-11

thanks for votes and comments on previous parts .

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omkara went behind gauri and saw her entering their room . he went inside room and saw her going inside bathroom and  he heard the sound of locking the door . he banged on the door pleading  her to open the door . when she didn't opened the door , he sat there resting his back on the door. he was reminscing the beautiful memories and thinking that everything was going well then what happened suddenly , where did he went wrong that gauri was not even ready to listen to him now forget about giving them a chance . he was thinking about the possibilities that may have upset her but suddenly a realization made its way to his mind and he realised that the stupid contract he made her sign is stopping her from giving them a chance . he realised may be gauri was thinking that he does not want her with him . he shook his head thinking how stupid he is , first he made her sign that contract and now he even didn't clear her misunderstanding . he started finding the contract papers  to destroy them in front  of her and make her believe that he wants her to be with him and their daughter forever .omkara didn't find the contract papers but he found a neatly folded paper amidst gauri's clothes , lying there in a failed attempt to hide it .omkara remembered gauri writing something and hiding it on seeing him entering the room . he didn't wanted to invade in her privacy but he didn't know what came to his mind that  he  opened the folds of paper and started reading it ,

dear omkaraji,

 if you are reading this letter then i have surely gone away from you forever. i know that you had started trusting me but you are still unaware  of the truth . i am saying this truth not to make you gulity but just to make sure that another doubt doesn't grow in your mind and make the image of  our daugter's mother tainted in her eyes .and if you are going to make right image of her mother in her mind then you also need to know that her mother was not characterless. this accusation was worst of all you have made and i do not want my daughter to grow up with these accusations on her mother . i know you think of me as a characterless woman because i was ready to marry kali thakur but believe me situations forced me to do so . i never wanted to that with my willingness . i am just requesting you one and only and also last time to believe me once  and please don't try to dig out my past . it is only going to hurt you and you getting hurt or feeling guilty is the last thing i want . so don't try to find about past and just believe , for me , for us and for our daughter . 

and I don't know if you will believe me or not but i love you . i really do ...i always did from the very moment you filled your blood in my hairline .

-gauri

the letter slipped fom omkara's hands and tears spilled down from his eyes  . he couldn't help but believe the letter . the realisation that gauri was forced and compelled to do that marriage and he without knowing anything , treated her with such a cruelty made him guilty . this new realisation mad it very clear to him why gauri doesn't want to him a chance . his thoughts were broken when he heard the sound of opening the door and saw gauri coming out the bathroon with red and swollen eyes which added more to his guilt and the truth that she was crying because of him made his heart bleed  but he gathered a little courage and put that letter back after picking it from floor making sure that gauri didn't saw him . he then wiped his tears in order to hide them from gauri but his attempt was futile .

" gauri...." started omkara only to be cut by gauri .

'I want to sleep omkaraji . please not now...' said gauri walking towards bed and laid down on her closing her eyes .

omkara too decided to lay beside her though he knew that sleeping with this new found guilt of old mistake is impossible . this realisation of her truth was really harsh and he knew that her truth and situations would have been more harsh but he was determined to know the whole truth and ask forgiveness from gauri .he was really afraid about her decision if she will want to be with him or not but if she will not want to be with him the he will not separate her from their daughter and will let gauri go with her . but this thought was itself so scary that omkara didn't event want to think about that . he was afraid if gauri will forgive him or not . he was insecure to lose gauri and his daughter who had not even came to the world but he was already in love with .he was afraid to think that his new found feeling for gauri will not be responded if gauri decides against living with him  . with these thoughts in mind , he laid on the bed with so much insecurity , fear and guilt that will not let him sleep for sure

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sorry for being very late . please do comments and votes .