Lind
I storm away as were dismissed. Amaias follows after me. I'm unsure why. I think he's afraid I'm going to hurt someone. He has a keen eye for people's moods, particularly anger.
"Lind, please. Her majesty will hear you—"
"That bastard cannot be allowed to join the harem! Did you hear how insolent he is?"
"You're also insolent though..." he murmured nervously.
I roll my eyes. "That's not the same! He's going to uproot the entire hierarchy. I didn't know she'd actually return with him? Amaias!"
I turn around slamming my fist into the wall. "Do you understand what is going to happen? We will be discarded! We must..."
I close my eyes. I begin to pray. I am a man of God. All my actions must be holy. The sins of lust, greed, and wrath must be removed from my heart.
"I don't really understand," Amaias says behind me. He reached out, touching my shoulder. "Please help me understand. I know that...they seem close. He even called her by name. One I do not know. But...is it so bad?"
I look back at him. His eyes are on the floor his hair shielding his face from me.
"He is right. He is the only one on equal footing with Mistress. That means...she will not worry about taking care of him. Maybe...he could even take care of her."
He looks at me. "Don't you want what's best for Mistress?"
Best? What's best is me. And maybe him. Sometimes, but mostly me. I have the highest rank in the harem now. If that changes...
She may not see me as often.
I frown. "Let me help you, child. Each of us is here to bear her children. Those children are to help her prosperity. And the line. A child with me will help her control the church. Your child will be a backup. If Ryuk enters the harem officially, his child will control the military."
I sigh, looking away. "And the Emperor's child will give her control over the north. Whatever their offspring will have claim to both thrones and unite the kingdoms under her rule."
Amaias's mouth drops. "Ah...I hadn't thought that far ahead."
If he course he didn't. He has no formal training and no knowledge of how palace life. He is nothing but a lost puppy in a warm of lions.
It's a wonder he's even here.
"Our treatment is based on how favored our children are. The best way to stay in favor is to be useful, Amaias."
Amaias looks down once more, grabbing my shift. "Am I...useful?"
I nod. "Your use is to keep me from power. As long as you're first consort I am not. So yes...you are useful, child."
Amaias plays with his hair idly. It is such a beautiful color. He is beautiful. I wonder if he knows that? I wonder which part of him appeals to her majesty the most?
Is it this red hair? Or those eyes? Perhaps it's his frame or his meek personality.
"Thank you, Lind." He gives me a small smile.
I lift his face up. His cheeks go red for an instant.
He still doesn't know how to conceal his expression.
"Your hair reminds me of the flames of gods blessings," I murmur, taking a strand between my fingers.
"T-thank you," He whispers. His deep green eyes settle on me. They remind me of the forest.
He shivers but is still. He'd usually run from me. Does he not mind me anymore? His lips quiver. Does he want me to kiss him?
I look over him gently. "Her Majesty must be pleased with how close we have become," I start.
His eyes drop down to the bulge in my linen pants. I smile, rushing his hair behind his ear.
"Yes. She was quite pleased with the show we gave her."
He's empty. I don't know he comes from but I have seen this disposition. This emptiness. With it comes a life of suffering.
"You are empty, Amaias."
He opens his eyes. "High—Lind?"
My desire is gone. Concern takes its place. What has he been through? And why has he emptied himself at the sight of my desire? I know I've been...I've been mean to him. Testing him, teasing him.
But I didn't think he thought himself in danger around me.
"I told you. We can sense it. Why are you empty? I am not going to hurt you."
He smiles. "I know."
I swallow. "I am not going to do anything to you...that you don't want, Amaias. Is that what you're afraid of?"
I think back. He used it to be the first consort. His demeanor changed then. Does he think...I will kill him to take his place? It's logical though not godly. I certainly have the power too, and I'm sure in his eyes, the temperament.
I clear my throat and step back. "I love her. Her Majesty, I love her, truly."
Amaias eyes widen.
"Ah."
I smile. "It doesn't much matter to me. The politics. The church. I simply want to be with her. So you are safe, Amaias. You don't need to fear me."
He turns around, looking at the door. "Hm...but I do. I'm nameless here. You two are powerful. You could want me gone. I am the most disposable here."
He glanced over his shoulder with a bitter smile. "It's very clear to me that if the Emperor joins the harem my position will be shaky. He's powerful."
Is this Amaias? He's usually such a timid child. Then again...her majesty would never procreate with a fool.
"If he ever decided he no longer wished to share her majesty I would be first to go. Unless..."
"You had someone backing you up," I finish.
He turns around with a smile. "If we're divided we will conquer us both. But if we are a United front, her majesty will listen to us. We can stay safe."
I smirk. "And you thought the best way to do that would be...to submit yourself to my lust?"
Amaias scoffs. "I am childish. I am weak, and I am not very smart. I'm emotional, a coward. But I know how to stay alive. And...appealing to lust is one of the easiest ways."
I blink. Hm. That's...hurtful. But I sense he's telling the truth. There's a strength to him. He is a strong person, despite his cowering demeanor. Inside him lays a sleeping beast.
I wonder will bring it out. Perhaps fatherhood. I can imagine that. It's almost...endearing.
"Good. You will need that cunning to survive, Amaias. But you and I," I reach out taking his hand.
He looks at it. "We are brothers in marriage. We do not need to lie, cajole. Let us make a pact before the gods today. No matter what, whether our children are rivals or the harem falls deeper in flux, we look out for each other."
Amaias smiles, and squeezes my hand. "A pact then before the Gods and her majesty."
I smile.
He's lying.
