~LIVING FOR YOU~

Chapter 16: One Year Ago

~Zane~

MAJOR TW THIS IS A CHAPTERS CONTAINING MAY FORMS OF ABUSE

IF YOUR NOT COMFORTABLE READING THIS PLEASE DO NOT READ IT

I'm starting to regret this, but they deserve to know the truth. So that's what I'm going to do, tell them the truth

"You guys need sit down I have to tell you something that happened a year ago that will explain what happened today." My voice is serious when I tell Ash and Will  to sit down

Both of them take a quick look at each other then shrug.

Obviously you don't know anything so why you shrugging

They both take a seat across from me and look at me continuing about what I was about to tell them.

But I don't start

Ash, William, and me just sit there on two couches facing towards each other

Waiting
And waiting
And waiting

For me to start talking

"So man are you going to start or like are we just going to sit here and stare into each others souls waiting for some kind of true love to spark" Will breaks the silence by saying and making hand gestures to get his point across.

"Yea sorry I'm just- just trying to figure out where to start" I say shaking my head to start actually thinking on how to tell them

"We'll what's the start" Ash says looking confused as hell

"Dipshit I'm going to tell you the start" I say getting anxious about this whole thing

"Girl- I- okay year" Will says stuttering because of how dumb this whole thing is

"Year?" I question

"Are you high Zane, what did you take molly" Will says making faces of astonishment

"What!" I say loudly making gestures with my hand

"Year Zane year as in how long ago or like year like 2016, 2021, 20-" Will says laughing whole explaining

Sorry I'm just going a little insane right now

"Right right" I say bringing my hand up to rub my temples. Ash notices the small movement

"Hey man, take your time but really hurry up cause i'm getting inpatient" ash says making an reassuring nod afterwards

"Okay okay here I'm going to start" I say making a long sigh escape my lips

They nod their heads and wait for me

"One year ago today my mom committed
Suicide because-" and now I just ramble because now, now I can say it and not keep it in

"Because my father was abusing her her whole marriage and she got enough and killed herself and I could've saved her but I didn't and now she's dead because of me " I say bluntly not making eye contact with them now because I just rambled everything that has happened in the last year to them.

I just said everything I've wanted to say but kept in because I thought nothing mattered and that since she's dead and can't come back that there's no point in talking it out because what is talking going to do bring her back. Sadly that's not how life works so I just never told anyone and kept it inside all this time.

Now I'm seeing that was a very very stupid decision I made

I'm looking around my apartment instead of them. Anything my eyes land on is what I focus on, not my best friends