A Pact With The Prince | Bridgerton ~ Prince Friedrich

Chapter Twenty Three

The rain that fell on the city seemed to permeate into everyone that lived there. The bland darkened sky reminding everyone that for every sunny and beautiful day, there will always be dark days to balance it out. Diana had been staring out the window since breakfast, her family especially her mother had taken notice. It had been nearly three days since her last meeting with Prince Friedrich and Diana had announced the next morning with a cold strength that they had reached an understanding and will be mere acquaintances from now on. It was her steely composure and calmness in her tone that indicated t hat not all was well and no matter how much they attempted to break through the ice of her countenance Diana was not ready.

    "Perhaps we can take a trip, my dear, to the seaside it shall be warming soon." her mother suggested.

    Diana did not listen, her thoughts reeling, disorganized, and almost obsessive. As of yesterday in a brief moment when she happened to see the Prince and his Fruelin in the park, it felt like the city was closing in on her and she desperately wanted to disappear as far away as possible.

    "Diana?" her mother gently called. Diana blinked her thoughts blank a moment before comprehending what her mother said.

    "Oh? The sea indeed sounds lovely." she replied unfocused.

    "My dear, it hurts me to see you like this." her mother whispered moving to stroke her hair.

    "I have assured you many times mother, I am alright." Diana grimaced nearly flinching from her touch. She hated this feeling of her family knowing how much she felt.

    "Will you go to the Danbury ball this evening?" she asked lightly. Diana had been avoiding her social outings that might include running into the Prince.

    "I am undecided ." Diana chewed her lip to help distract from the panic.

    "Perhaps just for an hour tonight? It would do you good to not sit still in your room all night." the concern in her mother's eyes made her frown.

"Mother, I know...that things did not go as planned, but I assure you I am going to be well."

"I know dearest." her mother drew her close, "There is a time for strength and a time to let it out, keeping your soul from feeling the burden of pain is how it fractures and sometimes it stays irreparable for fall too long until its too late." Diana glanced up at her mother, wondering what she had experienced to understand this.

Her mother smiled, "Your father, I refused to grieve believing I needed to stay strong for you all. I did not feel myself for a long time and for a moment I had wished to join your father. It was then I realized that he would never want that, especially leaving you with the pain of such a thing." her mother said her eyes glassy. Diana stared wide-eyed, she was young when her father died and didn't quite remember the aftermath lost in her own way of grieving.

    "It helped to speak with other widows who have experienced similar things, which is why Violet and I have been such good friends. She had helped me through my grief. I implore you, to let yourself be angry, sad, and forlorn. There are plenty of young ladies who have been rejected by love but do not let it rule your life." Diana flinched, the reality of it spiking to the surface.

    "I will try." Diana said simply trying to bury whatever emotions were trying to bubble to the surface. It did nothing to quell the dis-ease in her soul and she knew her mother was right. She could not let this fester into making her despondent when the world around her continues to spin. Diana moved to her room after a moment longer in her mother's arms, her journal had been untouched, everything had been too much trying to find the words that she wanted to pen.

It wasn't that she didn't feel, she knew it was there waiting to break down the wall she desperately created. She was afraid of it and Diana didn't know if she let it all out if she would be able to find the pieces of herself back together.

    So, Diana wrote. Without considering the syntax or structure of words, letting the paper and pen find themselves as she poured into the journal. Hours had passed before she realized it, not even noticing the biscuits and tea left for her by Tinsley, who watched a moment before quietly leaving without disturbing her. When Diana finally felt like she could no longer find anything else to put to paper she had written many pages, ink-stained her fingers. Diana stared up into the ceiling, it had been more cathartic than she realized. Her journal was unjudgemental and didn't try to make her make sense of it all.

    "I have to get through this." Diana sighed to herself but was not truly resolved about attending the ball. If she can survive seeing them in public together perhaps it would hurt less and less. She knew that she could not withdraw from society if he was to complete the bargain she needed to be available for it to play out.  Diana realized that soon her brother would be set to leave in almost two months and she still needed proposals to reject. It was the only way she could leave this city, far away to nurse her heart so she wouldn't have to hear or see anything about an imminent wedding.

The cream dress with beautiful lace dotted with crystals that winked in the light was perfect for the Danbury ball. Her hair was casually cascaded down one side.

"You look beautiful sister." Dominic smiled down at her as he took her arm when she walked down the stairs.

"Thank you." Diana smiled up at him. "You know it is quite unfair you practically wear the same coat and silks and don't get criticized for it.

"Not true, I daresay we equally get quite a scoff if we appear with the same cravat." he winked. Diana rolled her eyes, meeting her mother at the foyer who beamed at her in pride.

"You are still determined to travel with me I assume." he whispered as they approached the carriage.

Diana nodded, "I am starting tonight, I will be a debutante again, I have been...too complacent."

"You will have no trouble now, Darcy had been complaining now that the Prince is well expected to be engaged." he started carefully. "Many have been inquiring after you, now that it seems you are free of him."

"Well, then perhaps I won't need his help then after all." Diana gave him a smile.

"Perhaps, but tonight, I implore you to enjoy yourself. I know it has been difficult of late but I know you will find your footing again." Dominic patted her hand.

When they arrived at the ball, it was a crush. Many people were present inside Lady Danbury's outdoor ballroom. She did not discriminate with her invitations including artists, lawyers, and many people of the city. In the true fashion of the Lioness Matron, she did not hesitate to wow the guests with her lush style. The dance floor was crowded, as the crescendo of the instruments hit their final note for the dancers. Diana looked hoping to spot her friends and hoping to establish her awareness of the royal group with the intention to avoid them altogether. Instead, she was met with a gentleman stopping right in front of her, his dark eyes sparking with interest.