ONEIRATAXIA - the inability to distinguish between fantasy and reality
"Are we now dating?"
I asked him while walking on the roadside. It started with a kiss and then all sort of fell apart. Look now, he intertwined our fingers. I want to be certain. Gusto kong siguraduhin na kami na ba talaga. I want to have definitions or labels between us.
I've never been in the mood to do the same thing I did last time— like doubting and being curious. I want "us" to seek peace of mind, together.
"K-kung papayag kang maging girlfriend ko," he beamed as he sway our hands on the air.
"Are you seriously asking that? You stole a kiss from me. Hinalikan mo 'ko Shawn at sinab— bakit ka namumula?" tanong ko kasabay ng pag-iwas niya ng tingin.
"Anong namumula? Hindi ah. Ang cute mo lang kasi, mahal," he smirked.
"Wait, what? M-mahal?" I bit my lower lip. Is this our endearment? That's too lovely. Ha-ha! "Why?"
"Kasi mahal kita. Tinatanong pa ba 'yun?" He moved closer and kissed my forehead, lightly.
It feels surreal. Being loved by someone you love, being cared by someone you care the most— it's perfectly led to the halfway point of love. Our lives have a tendency to grow and to be precious.
Ang ganda ng pagmamahal. I never imagined that my existence would be valued even more when Shawn became part of it. Para kayong naghahanap nang direksyon, direksyon kung saan may pundasyon ng pagmamahal.
It is something valuable to live for.
Rather than love, I want to feel at home. He's my home. I craved for his comfort, his smell, his warmth, his fondness and presence. Siya ang tahanan ko. Siya rin ang pahinga ko. Hindi ako magsasawang mahalin siya kahit maabutan man kami ng pagtigil nang ikot ng mundo. Because, I rather fall in love again and again than I fall out of love.
Nang makarating kami sa tapat ng gate ng bahay ko, binitawan ko na ang kamay niya.
"Bye love," I said and instantly kissed his cheek. I rush towards the mansion, chuckling.
Nadatnan ko sa loob ng mansyon sina mommy, Tita Anne at Ate Trivia na nag-uusap habang hawak ang baso ng wine. Naputol lamang ang kanilang halakhakan ng mapansin nila ang presensya ko.
Ginawaran naman kaagad ako ng ngiti ni ate at tita pero si mommy ay nanatiling nakatingin sa akin na walang emosyon. As usual. Palagi naman siyang ganyan. Nasanay na ako.
"Good evening po," I mumbled, politely.
"Good evening Diana," tita gave me a half smile.
"Hello sis, good evening," ate respond too.
"Saan ka galing?" mom asked while looking at the glass of wine.
Her voice occupied the room. Parang siya lang yung nakikita ko. Parang wala na akong ibang naririnig, kundi boses niya lang. It was calming yet authorized voice. I want to tell her about the relationship between Shawn and I but I'm too scared to speak up.
Baka hindi niya matanggap. She's against of everything. She contradicts my decisions. And she doesn't like being contradicted as well. Mistakes make her angry— but my relationship with Shawn isn't a mistake. Ginusto ko maging kami kasi mahal ko siya. Love is more excecptional than anger.
"I was at the bay earlier, resting." I told her without showing the uneasiness within my body.
"You can rest in your room, bakit sa dalampasigan pa talaga?" Tumaas bahagya ang kanang kilay niya.
BINABASA MO ANG
Run Away From The Crowd (COMPLETED)
Romance"Some days, I just want to disappear. I hope that's possible," I said. "If that's possible, I will choose to disappear with you," he replied. He had the sweetest smile ever but I no longer smile anymore. He said he was happy with me, yet I feel more...
