let go and move a step

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"PokTong2"

Tong sits at the edge of the stairs again. Waiting for the engineering students to pass by.

His friends nod at him as they go by. But one person never dropped a look at him.
It has been weeks. 3 to be precise.

He misses that person. So much.

He smiles but all faded. When the person he longs to see never gave a gaze.

His classmates came to him and pull him gently to their next class
Slowly he walks to where he is directed but his eyes never leave the back of the person that he longs to talk to.

"Pok you look like a hopeless romantic." One of his classmates said.

Finally he moved head and walk normally.

"What should I do mung?" He asked.

"For now? Focus on class. Tong!" One of his classmates said.

Lunch break came after another class
He again saw the face he longs to see.

The guy smiles and laughs with the people with him.
Tong walks toward them.

"Sawadee Khab." He said.

"Take a seat nong"the p' said.

Everyone moved and the space is beside Pok.
Pok smiled awkwardly.
Tong sit quietly.
The two silently eats. While everyone seems in chaos.

Pok is in a hurry. Then he leave
Tok quietly sits pretending nothing happened.

"Damn, we had hard time putting him to sit there. And you said nothing!" Seab said.

"How can I speak. I was nervous." Tong said.

Seab sighed.

"Step up mung or you will be buried deep." Seab said.
He walked out of the cafeteria.

Tong sipped on his coffee.
Planning how to win his man back.

________

Pok stares at his phone.

Not a message nor lesson.
But a photo.
A photo of Tong.

"I wished he talked to me. I wish he said any word." Pok whispered.

"Goodnight" he said and kissed his phone.

He acts cold around Tong he does not talk. He pretends Tong is just an acquaintance. But inside his heart.
He misses Tong.

Days passed and it happened again.
Their eyes never meet. For when the other look the other turns away.

When all their friends meet for a meal or snacks they join. But not talking to each to each other,

Both waits who will speak up first.

And the most awkward came.
One party night:
Tong walks in an empty party room.
He checked his phone the invitation is right.
Right day
Right time.
Right place.

He jolted cause thee bathroom door opened. Behind him. While he is on his phone.

"Finally someone is here." Pok said as he arranges his shirt.
Then he looked up.

Finally their eyes meet.

After two months. Their eyes meet again.
They are far from each other but both are slowly being pulled to each other.

Unconsciously they walk slowly closer to each other.

They can feel each other's breath. They can see it closely.
Eyes can't tell.

But. Pok looked down.

Again he is pulled to his crypto nite.

Step up mung or your feelings will buried.
It run in Tong's head.

But Pok now moves away.

Tong hold on Pok's arm.

"What is it?" Pok asked.

Tong do not know what to say. But he pulled Pok's head and kiss him on the lips.
He never kissed anyone like this. For he wants to give this kiss to the person he loves the most. Now he knows what he is doing.

And he likes what he is doing.

Pok did not resist the kiss.
But he must be sure

He pushed Tong a bit.
He see disappointments and fear in Tong's eyes.

"Is this what you really want?" pok asked.

Tong nod his head.

"Then give me time." Pok said.
He kissed Tong's head and leave the room.

Pok sat on the floor and cried.
Rejected.

"Is this how he felt when I rejected him. But enjoyed his offering of pleasure?
What do I really miss. Him his love or just the pleasure.?" He asked himself.

His phone popped a message
A notification the change venue of the party

This time.
He walks back to his dorm. He did not attend the party anymore.

The following day.
Lunch came. He meets with his friends.
Sandee Seab and Phai. Never thought Pok would be there.
But to heart beats fast.

He sit beside Seab

"Aw. Pok pushed me away when I sit beside him. And you will just sit there?" Phai said.

Pok is silent

Tong stand and sit beside Pok.
Pok slide a plate of lunch for him.
Tong his his smile but is blushing.

Their friends whisper to each other but did not teased them directly.

Tong's phone vibrates.
"I have to go guys. Pok thanks for lunch mine next time" he said and stand.

He walks fast.
"Hey that next time will be tomorrow" Pok said without looking.

"Mm" Tong responded without looking also but walked faster.

He cannot contain what he feels.

Back at the table.

"So what happened last night?" Seab asked

"Nothing. He is realizing what he wants. But I am nit sure of what he really wants." Pok said. He sighed. Deep in his mind.
What does he wants? The pleasure or love?

The following day comes. Tong is again the last to arrive but he picked lunch for Pok. Then he gave Pok the lunch.
And sit beside him.
In silence they eat
But this time only the two of them.

"Let's try seafood hauz tomorrow P' said they have good shrimp" Pok said without looking at Tong.

"Mm" Tong said.

Again silence

"Sorry I am a boring lunch buddy" Tong said.

"Who said I am bored?" Pok said.

Tong smiled.
Pok saw it but Tong never looked at Tong. If only he looked up. He will see the eyes he fell for. The care that eyes shows. And the love that is reflected in the face.

But again time to depart for classes.

"I will pick you up tomorrow" Pok said.

"Okay" Tong responded.
Pok stand and grabbed his bag.

He kissed Tong's head. "See you tomorrow" he whispered then leave.

"Tong I never realized you are adorable when you look like a ripe tomato." One of Tong's classmate said.

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