My life as MGKs wife.

The night that may have changed everything.

Its been two months since Colson has been home from the hospital, he decided he wanted to go out with the guys tonight. I didnt care i figured i could chill with the kids and then take a long bath and then sleep.

He left about 7:30 and he was looking great in his specialized MGK convers jeans and blue tanktop with his Lace up chain and Clevlend snapback. I was making the twins dinner before he left he came in and kissed me and said he wouldnt be too late and that i shouldnt wait up.

I was worried that he might start using again and i dont mean smoking weed i mean heroine i dont want him to shot up while hes out! hes come way to far for that and it might really mess him up and i dont want the kids to see him like that.

I hugged him and whispered in his ear " Promise me youll be careful"

" I promise" he said looking at me with worry in his eyes and i knew that meant he would try his hardest but couldnt really promise me. I kissed him and told him that id be here if he wanted to come home early and have some fun.

" I love you Morgan and Abel!" he said kissing them on the head

" I love you too daddy" they said at the same time

" Love you honey."

"Love you too have fun" i replied

By the time i finished making dinner it was 7:45, I feed them dinner and gave them a bath it was now 8:15 so i let themwatch tv until 8:30 we sat down watching " Bear in the big blue house".

When i layed them down in bed i put on there music, they always listen to music when they go to sleep and usually its MGKbut tonight they wanted to listen to some of my music from my Ipod.

When i left the room i went to run my bath, we had a spa bath in our room and it had jets and everything. I took a two hour bath... I was reading safe haven by Nicholas Sparks and i finished it while in the bathi cried pretty much the whole time though but thats okay. I ended up watching Batman beghins after the shower and that killed 2 hours and 21 minutes. its now 12:41 and i stil cant go to sleep so i decided to watch more batman I watch Batman the Dark Knight.That was 2 hours and 33 minutes now it was about 3 oclock. i figured Colson would be home but, I guess ill just go to bed.

When i got to our room i quickly fell asleep but woke up at about 6:30 in the morning when cars pulled into the driveway i went down stairs and saw colsons leading someone into our house. It was some red head.Colson looked over and saw me and i knew right then and there he had gave in. The girl looked at me and then at Colson.

" Oh Shit im soo sorry baby" He yelled as he gave the girl cab money and pushed her out the door.

" what made you think it was a good idea to bring her home?" i asked trying not to get to loud.

" I dont know baby." He replied running to the bathroom and throwing up. I ran him a hot shower because i knew he wasnt in the right state of mind i knew he was high and not because he smoked but because he did heroine again. I just dont know if i can deal withh im doing heroine everytime he goes out or something and i cant handle him being sick like that expecially not at the house around the twins.

He got in the shower and started crying and sat down on the floor of the tub.

" Im so sorry i dont know why i did it i swore i would stop for you and the twins but when i saw it today i thoght it would be okay and now look at me i feel like a horrible father" he said as he started to break down in the tub." I love you and the kids so much and i would hate to do something to hurt you and i did and im so very sorry."

" I know baby, i shouldnt have let you go but i figured you needed some time out with the guys, I could tell when you left you wernt quit strong enought to say no yet and i will be here untill and even after you can say truthfully that you are stong enough to stay clean and if you need to go to rehab or counciling i will completly support you through that baby i love you more than you will ever know!" I replied as i started to cry.