Resurgence of Kohl

3. Unfurling Apprehensions

It has been a week since the wheel of time changed its direction. With much questioning and those subtle looks of eccentricity, I got to know I have returned to the age of sixteen- almost the time around when I got bewitched by Urjit's portrait brought by Nirmala; he was one of my suitors as said by her. I remember staring at the portrait for good ten minutes before turning to her with glee.

I vividly remember the day, my first step to doom. I remember being happy- joyous about the prospect of marrying a man whose face emitted such great valor but now when I think over it; how stupid was I to not recognize his poisonous presence? My parents were not very inclined towards this union. According to them, the state of Chaitanyagadh was too small for a princess of Medinikhand to be married into but I made them relent to my whim.

I remember staying awake for the whole night, harming myself, and going on fast just to get the man as my husband. Little did I know that these actions were only adding blotches to my family's name. 'Lovesick Princess', I was named by everyone around me. I thought of it as something to be proud of then; a princess who devoted her life in the name of love but now, I can't help but sneer at my inanity. 

Scoffing at my trail of thoughts I wondered why is there no signs of the event yet; why is Nirmala not here for the last few days? Has my presence already started affecting changes throughout the timeline? It won't be unlikely for this to happen because  I don't recall getting infected by severe fever around this time.

'If this is the case then would I be able to survive all the trepidations forth me?' A thought lingered at the doors of my mind. I didn't dare to delve deeper, my fragile heart refused to see yet another massacre- yet another trickery by my loved ones.

My hands shivered and my vision started to replay that day when blood washed away my entire being- I felt like getting chocked-

Just as I was about to get lost in the mesh of my thoughts the shrill voice of the herald dragged me back to reality, "Rajkumar Aadhirai is here!" 

The voice resonated in the room for a few seconds before the footsteps of my brother followed it. It was hardly audible- stealthy like a tiger it was and for some reason it made my heart hammer against my chest. Maybe the reason was clear but I refuse to acknowledge it- I am his culprit. If not for my husband of last life, he had a happy life ahead of him.

My conscience worded out my apprehension that I was trying to subdue for long. In the last one week I didn't dare to meet any of my family members due to the fear that alongside me, someone else too returned back in time. If this were the case then I was surely doomed for my mistakes were unpardonable.

I got little time to give fodder to my concerns before my brother came into the view. Quickly, I plastered a smile on seeing his torso coming into my view. Decked in his white silk dhoti, his indigo-washed angvastram ruffled along with the mid-summer winds of Mednikhand. Like always, his attire was unembellished with only a pearl necklace around his neck. 

To mundane eyes, his clothes would look like that of commoners but on closer look, the quality of his clothing speaks out loud of his blue blood. Arranging my dupatta, I shook my head at myself- the time of my examination has started. 

"Pranipat Jyesth." I bowed my head with folded hands forth him. There was a pause and I fluttered my eyes open to look at him. He was staring at me with a look of bewilderment- as if this was uncommon. I stared at him for a while before realizing- I was never this formal to my brother before my marriage.

Hurriedly, I stood straight, knocking the vase on the table beside me, ultimately losing my balance, and falling on my butt. While I blushed profusely at my condition, my brother found it amusing and burst into a fit of laughter. 

Having nothing else to do, I huffed before laughing at my condition and trying to get up. Must be my lack of concentration that the edge of the vase scratched over my skin letting a drop of blood flow out.

"Vija!" My brother called out on seeing just a drop of red from my palm. With one swift movement, he grabbed onto my arm to check the wound- a mere scratch was enough to draw out laughter from his eyes and leave worry in them.

'Do you deserve this love?' A voice in my head questioned. The answer was quick and it was no- I didn't deserve this tenderness from my family who paid for my mistakes. With this thought, I retracted my hand and looked away.

"Jyesth, it is a mere scratch. There is nothing for you to worry about." I mumbled, ignoring the hurt flashing through her eyes. The cold shoulder from the pearl of their palm must be agonizing but for some reason, I have grown repellent of touches; every finger laid on me feels undeserving as if I am a sinner- which won't be wrong to say.

"The scratch has blood on it Vijetri, it needs to be tended. I am going to call the Vaidhya Ji and this ends our discussion." He rebutted affirmatively. The regality in his voice was near nil and what stayed there was the care of a brother for his sister.

With teary eyes, I nodded my head and stood up with the help of Bhrata Aadhirai. Slowly, he guided me to the settee kept nearby the place I fell and as soon as I reached there, I nudged far away from his presence. It was shameful, a wrong done by me of not answering to their nurturing touches but I too was helpless due to the burden on my heart.

The Vaidhya Ji soon arrived and my wounds were cleaned along with some ointment applied to it. All this time, my brother stayed by my side and every hiss from my lips was accompanied by his supporting nudge. For some bizarre reason, the whole instance made me smile. For once, only peace resided at the doors of my conscience with no ivy of self-doubt accompanying the rose bush of my happiness.

I sure was undeserving of all the love but this time, in this life I would earn the position- starting from the hearts of my citizen.

"Bhrata, would you mind a visit to the market today?" I smiled and got up from my settee with my eyes twinkling with mischief.

❁┈┈┈❅ ⋞〈 ✿ 〉⋟ ❅┈┈┈❁

Vaidhya- doctor

Rajkumar- Prince

Pranipat- A respectful way to acknowledge someone, mostly spoken by juniors to elders

Bhrata- brother

Angvastram- a long piece of cloth, used to cover the upper body

Dupatta- a long piece of cloth used by women to cover upper body

❁┈┈┈❅ ⋞〈 ✿ 〉⋟ ❅┈┈┈❁

How was the chapter?

What do you think about Vijetri's mental condition?

I mostly wanted to write a book on rebirth to acknowledge how scarring deaths or events of prior life could be, I hope I am in the right direction.

Please comment and vote on the chapter if you liked it.

Till then bye-bye!