THE ROMANTICIST | C. GRIMES

05 | CHAPTER NINE

As it turned out, it wasn't just a food bank. Or at least, it had accepted other donations outside of food. There was an entire room full of clothes, both teens very happy to finally be out of their freezing, soaked clothes from before. They'd also found an office with a couch and two arm chairs, so Carl gave Mollie the couch while he pushed the chairs together to make himself a bed. The mini battery powered lantern Mollie had in her bag had also survived the river, meaning that even had light outside of a shitty flashlight.

They were silent as they scarfed down as much as they could eat, of whatever they could find. Most of the shelves were stocked with canned goods, meaning they had plenty to choose from. Mollie had stuck to fruit, having gone through two cans of peaches and now working on her first can of mangoes while Carl had found an entire shelf of spaghetti-o's.

"So, in the morning." Carl started, having just finished his fifth can. "I say we eat and then head outside to see where we're at. Maybe there's some other buildings nearby that might have a map or something. Maybe a car. I doubt the Saviors are gonna find us now."

"We don't know that." She replied. "I mean, we walked in a straight line after we got out of that river. They could track us."

"Yeah but they'll have to find where we got out of the river first." He pointed out. "It felt like we were floating down forever. So even if they bother to actually look, it'll take days for them to find our tracks and by then we'll either be at the Hilltop or well on our way." She sighed, picking out another mango slice. "What's up with you? You're being so negative tonight."

"Sorry I don't feel like being positive while we're being hunted down by thirty people." She huffed.

"No, it's more than that." He set down his can, pushing one of the chairs away and walking over to her couch. She looked up at him for a second, huffing again before pulling her legs in so he could sit down. "Will you tell me what's up?"

"I just..." She leaned forward, setting the can down on the ground. "I miss my mom. I miss Alexandria. The Kingdom. Ezekiel, Jerry, Nabila, my gardens, Henry...I...I miss Ben." Her voice broke when she said his name. "We've been doing this more over a month, fighting the Saviors. And it doesn't feel like we're getting anywhere. In fact, it feels like things just keep getting worse. And now we're lost, being hunted by thirty people who'll probably just kill us if they find us and we have no idea what's happening with the group.

"What if the Saviors went to the Hilltop already? What if there's nothing left? What if there's no one left? What if it's just us?"

"No way." He shook his head. "No, no way. I know my dad, I know Maggie, Daryl, Tara, everyone else. Trust me, we've come back from a lot of shit. They're gonna be okay. Even if we get lost out here for a month, they'll be there when we get back. You can't let your mind be bogged down by 'what if's'. When you do that, you'll never be able to get out of it. We can't start worrying about all the things that could possibly going wrong out there.

"They can all handle themselves, Mollie, and we just have to trust that. Right now, all I'm worried about, all I'm thinking about, is us. You and me. How we're gonna get out of this alive and get to hilltop. How we're gonna survive this war. And...what'll happen after."

"What do you mean?"

"When the war's over, you won't have any reason to stay in Alexandria." He said. "I mean, not like we'll be going back for a while anyway, but you know what I meant. Aren't you just going back to the Kingdom?"

"I..." Mollie trailed off. That had been her original plan, when she first left. She'd go to Alexandria, fight in the war, and if she survived she'd go back to the Kingdom. But things were different now. She was different now. She'd always love the Kingdom, they'd always be her family, but she loved Alexandria too. "I don't know. I mean...that was the plan but now..."

"Now...?"

"I dunno. Things are just...different now." She shrugged, looking over at him. "I'm different. I can't just go back to tending gardens and looking for mushrooms in the forest. I...I thought I'd be ready, you know? I thought getting away would make me forget about him, about Ben. And I dunno, sometimes I can, but the thought of going back to the Kingdom...staying in the same room, seeing the same places..."

"Then don't go." He said after a few moments. "You don't need to leave."

"I mean, don't I, though?" She asked. "That was the whole idea."

"Well ideas can change." He pressed. "I...I don't think you should go."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want you to." His words hung in the air for a few moments. "Mollie, I...you just..." He sighed in frustration. He looked over at her, and in a split second decision, he leaned over and pressed his lips against hers. For a second she was frozen, and then she leaned into the kiss. One of her hands moved up, her fingers ghosting against his cheek as she hesitated. Before her hand could come to rest on his face he pulled back, and she let it drop into her lap. For longer than either of them would've liked, there was silence. "I...I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

"No it's...it's fine." Mollie's head was spinning and she couldn't get her thoughts straight.

"I-It's not, though." He said, finally willing himself to stand up and move back to the chairs he'd be sleeping on. "You're still grieving Ben's death, and I have Enid, I..." Enid. Mollie had completely forgotten about Enid. As Carl began to hastily push his bed together Mollie laid down, the air in the room now thick and uncomfortable.

"Night, Carl." Mollie turned on her side, letting her back face him.

"Night." He mumbled back.