It was not easy to date someone in the public eye like Neymar..and me not being near as famous as him. It was so crazy how I could just post a simple photo of us together.. then people would make sure to let me know, that I'm not good enough for Ney, that I'm not gorgeous as Cindy Bruna, that I'm only with Neymar for his money and fame . Neymar could have any runway model he want that had a gorgeous body... with no scars that reminded them of childhood memories. I'm just a girl that he met at a friend's birthday . I'm a waitress bearly
earning enough to pay my own apartment. I'm just a girl from a small town in France. I looked at my phone thinking about a comment someone said..You not worthy for Neymar . There's truth to that comment. Neymar doesn't know about the hate I'm getting and I will not tell him , I don't want him to think that I can't control his lifestyle. I looked in the mirror, seeing the bags under my puffy eyes caused by sleepless nights, I looked at the small scars in my neck that told so many stories about how weak I am . I am scared of having physical intimacy with Neymar so he doesn't see the scares on my body telling him how weak I am . This leading me to go to the bathroom taking a blade and cutting my leg, I get happy seeing the blood dripping on the floor.. all my life this was the only happiness that I've known and it is called hurt. I found a pleasure in seeing myself suffering not because I deserve it ..no because the way it feels so memorising that feeling that makes me do it over and over again. This is enough I thought... I went to our master bedroom , I got a bag and through my clothes in it . "Y|n I'm home, where are you?" Neymar's voice fills our house. I looked at the clock on our wall he isn't suppose to be back til 2 . "There a-" Neymar stopped in the middle of his sentence seeing with what I'm busy with. " Babe you didn't tell me that you going to give some of your clothes away" Neymar said but I could see he knows what I'm doing he just doesn't want to ask me . "Because I'm not Ney, I'm moving out" I said. "What but why?" he asked a look of confusion visible in his eyes. "Because I'm not worthy for Neymar jr , I'm not beautiful as Cindy Bruna, I'm not good enough of being with you , I'm not-" Neymar stopped me before I could continue... tears started escaping. "Where is all of this coming from ?" Ney asked. I pointed at my phone. Neymar got it and scroll through it . "Why didn't you tell me ? , I want to protect you " Ney asked . " You want to protect me from myself you can't Ney it's too late " I said. He took a step closer towards me .."it's never too late , I love you " he said. "Why do you love me Neymar when you can have anybody you want?" I said. "That's the thing I don't want anybody else I want you with your craziness and I never ever want you to question my love for you , I never want you to question your beauty because then you questioning my heart and nobody questions my heart and get away with it" he said. "It's going to be alright because we in this thing together and by the way I think your scars are the jewel in your crown"
