EN-DRAMA - Enhypen Shortstories

Window - Jakehoon

Sunghoon had always been a discreet person. He wad quite shy and quiet in public, mainly because having eyes on him made him incredibly uncomfortable. He didn't really have friends, and he didn't really want friends either. Most of the interaction with people his age he had was with his sister, whom he liked.

For several years, that hadn't really bothered him. He liked his simple life of school, lunchtime with earphones on, going back home and writing in his diary and reading. Sometimes, he went ice skating with his sister and he enjoyed it beyond anything.

In the ring no one knew him. It was the only time he felt truly free. Plus, usually people were more focused on not falling rather than looking at him, which was perfect.

However, two years ago, an unforeseen incident turned his whole world around.
The couple next door had decided to move out, something about wanting a house with a bigger yard for their dogs. Evidently, that meant that new people arrived to live next to Sunghoon's house.

The adolescent thought that it wasn't s big deal, after all he had almost never spoken to his neighbors. 
That was until he saw a person around his age getting out of the car the day they moved in.

He had brown hair, dark eyes and the most beautiful smile Sunghoon had ever seen. It was one of those smiles that are warm, genuine and comforting.
It was one of those smiles one could never forget.

There he stood, behind the kitchen window, admiring the newcomer, without moving a muscle. His brain shouted to run outside, introduce himself and help the new neighbors with their boxes, yet Sunghoon was frozen.

That's when he realized he didn't even know how to approach someone new. He had never felt the need to make a friend. What should he say to him?
He didn't know how to deal with it if the young man didn't want to get to know him.

Trapped in his own fear and doubts, Sunghoon stayed still, enjoying the young man's sight from afar.
Far away, but safe.

~

Two years had passed since the Sim family moved next to the Parks. Sunghoon's mother talked with them sometimes, then she would repeat some of the information at dinner.
That way, Sunghoon learnt that they had lived abroad in Australia for some years, but had decided to come back to Korea after that.
The son, the one that Sunghoon had stared at, was called Jaeyun, however, Sunghoon was sure he had heard him being called Jake.

Sunghoon's bedroom was upstairs on the right side of the house, which meant from his own window, he could see the Sim's house. To be more precise, he could perfectly see Jaeyun's bedroom. They were next to one another, simply separated by walls and yards.

That was both a blessing and a curse.

A blessing because sometimes Sunghoon could catch a sight of Jaeyun walking across the window or sitting at his desk, potentially doing his homework or something like that.
However, it was mainly a curse.

Firstly, Sunghoon felt bad for spying. He didn't intentionally stay at his window, waiting to see something, but when he happened to look through it and he saw Jaeyun, he kept looking, unable to look away from the handsome young man.
On the one hand, the guilt of spying was terrible, on the other, that didn't impeach him from doing it.

Secondly, seeing Jaeyun from so far was a constant reminder that Sunghoon wasn't brave enough to simply go talk to him.

They did attend the same school, and destiny had even decided to put them in the same class.
So, if Sunghoon had wanted to, he could have talked to him a thousand times.

He had tried though.

Sometimes, after the last class of the morning, he longed to ask Jaeyun if the latter would agree to eat lunch with him. However, every time he started walking towards him, his stomach would feel weird, his throat would suddenly become dry and his hands extremely warm.
That also implied a second of doubt in Sunghoon's mind, and by the time he felt ready to go again, Jaeyun would be gone.

In fact, it was rare to see him alone at school. Everyone loved him.
After years of always seeing the same people around you, having someone new coming from Australia was something amazing, even though he had arrived two years ago.
On top of that, Jaeyun was friendly, cool, smart and insanely attractive.

Everyone wanted to be friends with him and he didn't seem to have a problem with that.
He was indeed one of the -if it wasn't the- most popular students in Sunghoon's high school.

Unfortunately for his secret admirer, it was always very intimidating. Sunghoon felt like everyone would mock him, or at least notice and gossip afterwards if he tried to approach Jaeyun.

Why is it so hard?

Why can't I just talk to him?

There was also another fear in Sunghoon's heart. Jaeyun was extremely popular, as were all of his friends. In Sunghoon's eyes, there was no way he could be interesting enough for Jaeyun to be friends with him.

This is why Sunghoon was content in his little spying situation.
He could admire Jaeyun without fearing rejection.

Yes, it wasn't real.
Yes, Jaeyun didn't know who he was.
Yes, the relationship they had only existed in Sunghoon's mind.

Yes, it could sound insane for some people if they knew.

However, was it that bad to have someone to think about?
Was it bad that imagining his smile comforted Sunghoon whenever he felt sad?
Was it bad that Sunghoon admired him and only wished for Jaeyun to be happy?

He knew it was strange to feel so much for someone who didn't know anything about him, but he didn't care.

Sunghoon knew he would stay in the shadow, and he didn't mind.
After all, there is no rejection in the shadow.

There are only memories of Jaeyun's smile.