Butterflies and Hurricanes - Muse
The events of last night were still fresh in my head no matter how hard I had tried to forget them. I couldn't.
Terence had told me that he loved me, he just let it out, so casually like it were nothing, and naturally I freaked out. I don't even know why though.
No one has ever told me that they love me, so it was weird for me. Yeah, I had relatives, friends and online people I'd never met told me they loved, but no one I'd dated had to me and meant it that is. They also threw the word around like a Frisbee.
I always found myself telling others that I loved them, but they never reacted like I had. I was so used to being the one that loved more, so when it eventually happened I was shocked.
But he couldn't love me, I was sure that he was joking, maybe he wanted something. He could have had anything that he had wanted from me as long as he didn't tell me that he loved me again, I hated lying. But why would he lie to me in the first place? I will never know.
It went against everything we stood for, but if he really was a liar then he had probably lied about other things as well, now I knew I had to question everything he had ever said or done to me.
My father drove in silence. He wasn't a talkative person really, but if you ever managed to get him into a conversation, you wouldn't regret it. He was quite the conversationalist.
To my surprise he actually made me pee on a pregnancy stick. It turns out that after we left he watched a documentary on teen pregnancies; he was always watching documentaries.
Anyways, the girls in the documentary always noticed that they were pregnant late into the pregnancy. He was afraid that I might be pregnant, I don't know how though, I've made it very clear that I am a virgin and I've chosen a life of abstinence, but every once in a while their faith in me wavers.
He said I was going to take the test every month, in their presence, just in case I had any 'bright ideas'. I knew that they'd never throw me out if I was pregnant but that still was no motivation to get pregnant.
Being a teenager is enough stress and being a teen mom is more stressful, I'm told and I believe them alright, which is why I have no plans to have a baby. Being a freaking mom is stressful, I don't even know if I want kids, period. I may just adopt teenagers; at least you can talk to teenagers.
He dropped me off at school right on time. I was never early, but never too late. I always got there right before the bell rang. I didn't do it on purpose, it kind of just happened, plus I had no business being too early or ending up in detention because of too many late comings.
I saw Toni; she was always just as late as I was. Now that's what I call friendship. I hadn't told her about the incident with Terence, but I was about to. She had a right to know.
After we greeted each other, we got down to business. She started, she was always started, and she could be quite nosy. I didn't mind though. I'd learned to love it.
"So how was the half-e-versary?"
"It was great," I said and Toni smiled a little brighter, "Until he told me he loved me."
"Why is that a problem? Did you abuse him with kisses of happiness and now he's going to press charges?" she teased gently. She knew that she was treading on thin ice, yet she chose to run.
"No, more like, I threatened to break up with him if he said it again." I couldn't even say if, that's how much the word affected me.
"You know Jasmine, a lot of people are crying themselves to sleep because they can't find someone who will say that to them." Something told me that she was referring to herself, but now was not the time to question her about her relationship with Siba.
