No longer having to work on the portal at night in secret, Stan had to readjust to sleeping on a regular sleep schedule for the first time in 30 years. Waking up, Stan stared up at the ceiling with a groan. He wanted to stay in bed, but with work that needed to be done, he couldn't just sleep in.
"Alright Stan, another day, another random body pain. Here we go," he said to himself. Stan slowly rose up from the bed, his back and body making all kinds of cracking and creaking sounds that pained him.
He put on his slippers, only to get an unpleasant surprise when he felt that it was soaked in milk. "Ugh! What the fuck?!" He exclaimed. Noticing a colorful, glittery note on his nightstand, Stan put on his glasses and read it.
"Dear Stan, I need something to carry milk in so I used your slippers. Love, Mabel."
Stan shuddered at his niece's unorthodox idea. He shuddered, even more, when he stood up and trudged out of the room. Walking into the kitchen, he flipped the switch to the light, only for the bulb to burst. He groaned exasperatedly and went to find a new light bulb in a nearby cabinet. When he opened the door and grabbed the box, he found that it was empty, except for a note that reads:
"Dear Stan, I took these to build a planetarium suit for Soos! Sorry! Dipper."
Stan grumbled and crumpled the note.
----
Still wearing his robe, Stan went over to the grocery store to get some more bulbs. Wanting to make the trip as short as possible, he grabbed the box of light bulbs and stood in line at the checkout counter. However, his morning was going to be ruined again when Robbie, Lee, Tambry, and Nate showed up behind him in line.
"Whoa, let's not take this line. There's an old person in it," Lee remarked.
"Psh, yeah. He's probably gonna pay with like, pennies, or war bonds," Robbie agreed with his arm slung around his girlfriend's shoulder.
"Hey!" Stan snapped fiercely, turning around to face the teenagers. "For your information, I was gonna shoplift most of this."
"Security!" the cashier called out.
When the security guards came rushing towards Stan, the conman was more than ready to make his getaway. "Ha! Smoke bomb!" he proclaimed, tossing down one of his smoke bombs.
Only to realize that it had expired on 11/1996. When the fuse ended, nothing happened.
"Aw, seriously?" he exclaimed, before being tackled by one of the security guards.
----
Patrick walked down the stairs with a can of Dr. Pepper. He opened it and took a sip from it when the door opened. He stopped when Stan trudged into the Mystery Shack, looking like he just got into a fistfight and holding a box of lightbulbs.
"Tried shoplifting, huh?" He asked with a knowing smile.
"Ugh. Just a rough start to a day, kid," the conman said as he headed to the kitchen and Patrick followed him. "But it's all gonna be worth it when I fix that light bulb—" Stan came to a stop at the kitchen doorway when he saw Ford screwing in a brand new light bulb with Dipper, Mabel, and Soos standing around him.
"And... we're... done!" The author said as the bulb lit up, eliciting a round of cheers from the kids.
"Does anyone see this? This is what a hero looks like right here." Mabel commented, pointing to Ford with a big smile.
"Guys, it's a freakin' light blub. Get over it," Patrick said, standing next to Stan with an unimpressed look on his face.
"I thought we were out of light bulbs," Stan questioned, showing displeasure at his brother's apparent 'heroism'.
YOU ARE READING
Weirder Things (Male OC X Wendy Corduroy)
FanfictionCross-posted on Fanfiction.net. Patrick Pines is just another average 16-year-old boy. He like video games, old B-movies, drawing, and reading. He was serious, fun-loving, and brave. And he also has anger issues. Among his family and friends, he was...
