Dipper vs Manliness

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Another day, another adventure in the not-so normal town of Gravity Falls. However, for this morning, Patrick was having everything but an adventure. He was in the Mystery Shack when Tyler Cutebiker came in and asked him about Christmas stuff. "Why would you want Christmas things?" He asked, while standing behind the register. "It's summer."

"Well, you see, I like to get my Christmas shopping done early," Tyler informed him, while looking around the shop. "Do you have anything that's in the spirit of the season?"

Just then Stan entered the gift shop. When he saw Tyler, the old man groaned. "Ugh! He's still here?"

"The guy wouldn't go away unless we give him something Christmas-like," said Patrick.

Stan looked around the shop for anything to give the local enthusiast out of his shop, before spotting a bowl of broken glass on the counter. "Uh, how about these crystals?" Stan held out the bowl, hoping Tyler would buy it.

"Ha ha! Looks like broken glass," he said in a positive tone.

Patrick looked surprised at him. "Wow, even I thought that would work," he said, taking the bowl of glass out of Stan's hands and placing it back on the counter.

"Ooh! What is that new thing," Tyler asked before running off to see what he was talking about. Just then, Dipper and Mabel walked into the gift shop.

"Grunkle Stan?" said Dipper, as they approached the counter.

"Can we go to the diner," Mabel asked, before grabbing her stomach and playfully moving it up and down. "We're huuungry."

Dipper smiled and mimicked his sister. "Huuuuungry." The two siblings groaned loudly, holding their stomachs. They then hit their stomachs together three times, as Patrick laughed at the moment.

"You know what, we should go out for breakfast," the teenager told Stan. "It certainly beats what we're eating here."

"Yeah, sure. Soon as this yahoo makes up his mind," Stan told the three, pointing at Tyler. The skinny man was now standing next to a fur trout hung on the wall.

"Do you have this in another animal," Tyler asked the Pines family.

Patrick gave him a look that brought out the bags under his eyes. He then looked at the twins, knowing that Stan would agree if he asked him. "Lock him inside?"

Mabel and Dipper nodded eagerly.

A moment later, the Pines kids watched as Stan locked Tyler in the gift shop by passing a long plank of wood into the handle of the front door and bracing it against the floor. With the enthusiast locked in the house, the family ran to the car and drove off as quickly as they could.

But Tyler didn't seem to notice at all. He was too busy trying to decide between two shirts he was holding up. One with a puma, and the other with a panther. "Puma shirt, panther shirt. Puma shirt, panther shirt. Puma shirt...panther shirt."

- - -

Greasy's Diner was the only diner in Gravity Falls. It was built to have the same shape and look of a log. The food was good, but one good look in the interior, and you could tell that any Health Inspector wouldn't even touch the place with a thirty-nine-and-a-half-foot pole. Waitresses would often have to dive off woodpeckers, they would get in and start pecking into the wall, including beavers that would come out of holes in the floor.

The Pines family entered the diner, passed by Old Man McGucket, who had been drinking way too many cups of coffee. This caused him to shake with no control of his body while muttering 'coffee' over and over again. They passed Wendy and her father, Manly Dan. Manly Dan was eating a large chicken leg, while his daughter was eating eggs and bacon. Wendy noticed and gave them a wave. Patrick returned the gesture with his own.

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