reparations | genshin impact

falling in love is the worst experience ever; i give it a 0 out of 10

You wake up to the feel of your phone digging into your back pocket.

The groan that wrenches itself out of your throat is raspy as you rub your bleary eyes, fishing it out so you could get a few more hours of comfortable sleep. But as you tuck the gadget beneath your pillow, you realize several things: one, it's morning; two, you aren't even inside your own apartment; and three:

Arataki Itto drools in his sleep.

This isn't very unusual for you. Thoma drools in his sleep, too, and the first instinct is to always shove him off whenever you dozed off on each other during movie nights. The predicament you're in is slightly different though, because the moment you open your eyes, you see that Itto has one meaty arm wrapped around your shoulders—effectively killing your chances of slipping away without waking him up.

You don't even remember how you got tangled up like this in the first place. You're a pretty self-aware person, so of course you wouldn't try to cross Itto's personal space more than you already did. Yet here you are, comfortably tucked in the warmth of an embrace that you may or may not be enjoying. It doesn't help that the cracks in the blinds give way for the muted daylight to stream into the room—painting the rough contours of Itto's face in a softer light.

For a moment, you're tempted to touch his face and see if the red marks will smudge if you rub them hard enough. You're still at odds with his so-called oni heritage, but fortunately, rational thought outweighs your curiosity. Instead, you let your gaze linger on his peaceful form, chest rising and falling with a steady rhythm. The past twelve hours have been such a rollercoaster of unprecedented events. How would you ever guess that this would follow one of the strangest nights of your life?

You gulp, breathing as silently as you can through your nose. Itto is so warm and so solid yet you can hardly believe he's sleeping right in front of you. Your own pulse skitters as his heartbeat hums through his clothes, and you think, is this what waking up next to someone else feels like?

What would Itto say if he wakes up right now? Would he be just as surprised as you are? Would he flash you a sleepy smile before greeting you a good morning?

In the end, you choose not to find out. It's easy to figure out that Itto is a heavy sleeper, and you do in fact, manage to slink away without rousing him. The cool morning air on your skin is a stark contrast to the body heat he's been enveloping you with all night, and you're loath to admit you already miss the sensation. But you don't let yourself entertain the idea of climbing back to bed to spoil yourself even more.

The sight of your raunchy apprentice in deep, peaceful slumber is enough to quell your greed.

As Itto continues to doze off, you soundlessly retrieve the same phone you tried to tuck away—frowning at the fact that your battery's almost dead and at the storm of notifications filling your lock screen. Several texts and missed calls from your parents, the Kamisato siblings, and—

Thoma [22:45]: I'm sorry.

You sigh.

Before you left Amakane Square with Itto, you made sure to switch off your phone's ringer so you didn't have to deal with the people who caused you so much distress. Shutting everyone out until you're ready to deal with them is a bad habit you haven't learned to let go, and Itto and Granny Oni both did splendidly in keeping your mind off things. But now, the overwhelming emotions have more-or-less peaked, and you have more room to contemplate everything that transpired last night.

You consider Thoma as one of your best friends. That's something you thought was undisputed, but you were completely oblivious to the way he felt about you all this time. Where did you even get the idea that he's in love with Ayaka ? The fact that he played along with your delusion didn't make seeing the truth any easier. But even if you know that you should feel no amount of sympathy for him, you still do. You still have it in you to feel guilty for your lack of foresight.