Pretty Boy

I See Sparks Fly Whenever You Smile

Serge:

Hauling myself up after the troubling hook-up I had with Alec, I leave the bar with doubt still clattering from my wretched heart.

I know, I should probably clarify to him my bothered state but yet I didn't. I don't really know how I could explain any of it to him, and starting with "hey, sorry I'm just not feeling it. So can we stop?" definitely wouldn't help.

It's just so messed up and I couldn't help but feel guilty from the wrongness of leading him on.
Honestly, what is wrong with me?

Trying to erase the memory of it all, I head out of the hall and take my bike from its current placement. Driving off to our town's bridge.

It took me about ten minutes before I reached my destination, and when I did, I just let myself sit on its edge and indulge my body with sadness once again, as unknown feelings began rolling in.

Tears started falling from my eyes as I recall every single hurt of what just happened. It's not even about the hookup that gets me in the state of melancholy, but the reasoning behind it. I know I should just let all of my feelings fade away, but then again, with every face I see, lips I kiss, and laughs I hear, there's only one person that instantly comes to my mind. Damn it, I should stop feeling sorry for myself. Yeah I should. This is definitely temporary. Ideas like these doesn't stay at all. Even if it does, it will only get erased once the fault starts unravelling its ruins.

"Hogan, please!!!! Don't be a scaredy cat and come sit with me on the bridge" I complain, sending sharp eyes to Hogan. He wouldn't even try and step with me on the edge of the cross over.

"Nuh uh. Your feet are literally hanging out of there! There's no way I'll take a seat. I don't wanna die!" He says, crossing his arms as he stands in the middle of the highway.

"You're no fun" I reply to him.
He seems to be in full conclusion that he doesn't want to sit with me though, so I try to think of a way to convince him.
Standing up, I step even nearer to the bridge's tempting corner. "Bummer. Woah." I exclaim while trying to fake a slip while still holding the bridge's railing.

"Serge!" Hogan shouts, while he runs towards me and instantly pulls my shirt so I wouldn't fall.

I couldn't help but laugh at the shock that's currently evident in his features."Now that you're actually just inches away from the edge, could you sit with me now? Or do I also have to fake my own death?"

"Fine" he says, taking the space next to me. "Yeah. I mean...this is probably fine. Not having a total panic attack out here or anything" he continues.

"Chill dude, we're not gonna die. Even if we do, at least we have each other to blame in the underworld." I joke. It didn't seem to ease his feelings though, so I continue, "Try to look at the lights. That's what I always do whenever I'm scared."

He just nods and holds my hand. I couldn't help but feel comfort as he squeezed my given skin and intertwines our fingers, stroking his thumb within the brisk of mine. His eyes just gleams with content as sparks fly from it.

More drops of tears streams from my lids as my mind wanders through the history of the very spot that I'm sitting on. History that's toppled with every inch of Hogan in it. The times I could only reminisce and play again in my mind.
Everything about this bridge is covered with the souvenir of him. And trying to reclaim it only hurts so much more.
The place where we got to do every single thing, whenever we want to be alone. The place that we deemed to be just our very own. And the only place where we get to see every single glimpse of each other. Even with loud engines crawling beneath my ears, the world only seems to revolve around the sight of him.