Love, Aristotle

chapter 12

Aristotle

What was it like to be truly happy? A question most people with a lot on their mind have asked themselves, more than once.

Happiness was indefinite. A word that meant nothing but everything. A feeling so rare but plain all the same. A feeling that was so different for everyone.

And in my world, happiness was many things. It could be in my smile, in my laugh. It was that feeling I got when I was on stage, or sitting in my room, writing away. It was seeing him after a long day. Watching tv shows with my sister and helping my dad with dinner. It was buying books and clothes. Spending time with the people I cared about. Going to the spa with mom or doing nothing at home. Different things made me feel happy, none the same.

Throughout the seventeen years of my existence I've learnt many things. There was a difference between being happy and feeling happy. Being happy was appearing as such to others, and to yourself. Feeling happy on the other hand was its own thing. It was a feeling deep in your chest, in the depths of the heart. When you felt it, one could see it in your eyes. While being happy was all about perception.

Maybe that was just a stupid observation I'd made. Regardless, it made all the difference. I liked to think I was and felt somewhat happy. But if I said I did, that would be a lie. There was something that pulled me back. A voice that reminded me that I could never be truly happy.

Simply due to the fact that everything about my life was tainted. The picture perfect life I had was all a lie. I knew what my father did and it killed me. I've tried so hard to be happy, but I don't think I was happy at all. The feeling only lasted for so long before something came in and ruined it.

The only thing holding me together was Damon. But at the moment, he wasn't here. So my facade slowly slipped away. No one could actually tell the difference though. Which made everything so much easier.

I walked into the hospital, smiling at the nurses and made my way to floor three, where I worked as usual.Going into the elevator, I pressed on three and was on my way up. I went into the lounge, hung my coat up and put my bag away. Exiting the room, I slipped into the hallway.

I pushed the food cart that awaited me there and went into Layla's room, in 309. "Hi Aristotle," she greeted, smiling as always. Recently, she had lost both her two front teeth, making her look even more adorable. She was eight and very sophisticated for her age.

I nodded, smiling in return, "Layla." I placed a meal tray on her lap. "How does bow tie pasta sound?"

"It's called Farfalle," she corrected, pushing up her glasses.

Now I actually didn't know that. I've been calling it bow tie pasta my whole life, because it's shaped like a bow tie. I shook my head in amusement, "Eat." She giggled to herself and poked her fork into the pasta.

"How is the weather outside? I saw that it's starting to get gloomy."

"It's quite nice actually. Gloomy weather is the best."

"Until you start to miss the sunshine."

"That's true," I said, checking her vitals and writing them down on my clipboard, "Maybe later, if it gets nicer, I can ask to take you outside for a walk?"

"I already asked. Doc said I have to stay inside 'cause my lungs can't handle the cold."

To cheer her up, I grabbed a bouquet of flowers I brought with me and held it out to her. She happily accepted it. "You feeling better?"

"Sort of. I still have a cough."

I grabbed her medicine from the cart and poured some into the little cup. Handing it to her, I wrote some more stuff down.