Love, Aristotle

chapter 19

Damon

Before

Their stares burned into my skin, taunting me. Judging when they knew absolutely nothing about me.

But they could judge all they wanted. I didn't give a shit. This was what happened in the real world. A world I knew all too well. I kept my stare cool, my expression blank and searched the crowded hallway for her. She didn't know who I was, not really. And I didn't even know her, but I wanted to.

Naturally, she heard the rumours. Something I wished I could change. She was too good for me, too good for this world. And yet, something pulled me to her. All while she remained completely unaware. She minded her own business, never judged, never stared. Even though I wished she'd look my way. I wanted her attention, I didn't want the others. I guess things never always went the way I wanted them to.

I walked past her. My shoulders relaxed at the mere glimpse of her smile. It took my breath away every time. She was talking to her friends and I wished she'd talk to me.

As that thought crossed my mind, I shook it away. Knowing damn well no matter what I wanted, she could never be mine.

I was me, she was her.

Her.

The good girl.

I didn't want the darkness embedded in me anywhere near her. So I forced myself to keep going, with their stares on me and not hers.

I realized I had this class with her. It didn't change anything though. She would always sit at the back, either reading or listening to the teacher. What a nerd. She looked good like that and I couldn't help but watch her, wanting to know what she was thinking. I made an effort and actually showed up to this class for that very reason.

I found myself falling silently for a girl who didn't even know me, and I honestly didn't even know it yet. But I had a feeling we would get somewhere.

There was something about her that made me weak. At first I didn't like it. After, I learnt that it didn't make me weak, it made me stronger. I looked forward to seeing her everyday. And those rare moments when she'd glance at me when she thought I wasn't looking.

It became a sort of game. A special thing we had. I'd stare, she'd pretend not to notice. And when I looked away she'd take her time to watch me from afar. We never spoke a word though. Days went by and I noticed so many things about her, constant reminders that I could actually feel things. Just for her.

I wished I could just fucking talk to her. But I didn't know how. I didn't know how to tell her that she took my breath away. It was known I wasn't the nicest guy out there. Their whispers and stares never usually got to me. I didn't exactly care. Why care about people I didn't even like?

Alas, I cared about what she thought of me.

Shaking my head, I looked away from her and snuck a glance at the book in her hand. The Book Thief by Marcus Zusak. I went over to the shelves and found another copie, smiling inwardly in victory.

Maybe she'll notice me this way. Maybe she'll see I wasn't so bad. Perhaps she'll like me?

The person I was shouldn't be someone she'd want to be with, I thought. She should be dating guys like Scott Trevors or Daniel Williams. Nice guys with good grades. Football players. At least they did something. I was nothing, but perhaps one day I could be something. Someone.

I looked up and met her gaze. Inside I was freaking out. On the outside, I kept my expression stoic. Instead of flinching away from my gaze, she surprised me by smiling. A smile worth a million words. One that shined brighter than any star and made my heart skip a beat.