Love, Aristotle

chapter 20

Aristotle

Here, I felt free.

The spotlight was mine and a sense of serenity fell over me, allowing me to float at the surface. I wasn't lonely, I was just alone. It helped clear my mind and gave me a moment to breathe. For this brief moment, I forgot about everything else and let myself go.

The music filled the air around me, blocking out the noise. I practiced my dance routine over and over again. Going through first position to the end and just poured my heart out.

The rise and fall of my chest and the rhythm my heart beat to were the only things I focused on. And occasionally, I let myself think of Damon. Smiling as I did so.

After this, I was supposed to meet him at our favourite diner. I was looking forward to it. I had so much to tell him. Things were moving fast and exams were next week. Then Christmas. I had our whole winter break planned out.

I couldn't believe how fast everything was going by. It almost didn't even feel real. But I was growing up, into adulthood. Stuff was happening and I wasn't sure if I could keep up.

My dad was still an asshole and my mom still didn't know. I was still there, stuck watching my dad and... Hannah holding hands as they walked out of the coffee shop.

It didn't help that she lived right down the street. I didn't miss the glances they stole and ghost smiles they exchanged. It was all so awkward. I just wanted to run away.

But here I was, dancing as nobody watched, just me and my thoughts. I felt free from all the burdens and stress.

Though, I only had an hour before Sloan would tell me that a class was starting.

The song came to an end and the peace in my world slipped away as the darkness arose. I checked the time on my phone, 8:30.

Sighing, I made my way to the change room and got dressed into a simple pair of sweatpants and jacket with my dance clothes underneath. I could hear the faint melody of the orchestra playing near. It was magical.

As I walked out of the building, the notes grew and grew until I felt like I was living in the music. I once played the piano but quickly gave it up as I took on my dancing career.

My shoulders relaxed while I listened, able to make out a grand piano, violins and all, swirling together into a perfect harmony. I stayed for a while, taking a few moments to appreciate the art then headed to my mom's car.

I unlocked it and got in, glancing out of the window and within a simple blink, I was sitting in the diner, looking out of the window, waiting for him.

He said he'd be here but it was almost nine and he still hasn't shown up. He was a busy person but he promised he'd come. He promised he'd give us tonight to finally spend together after weeks of only texts and calls.

Every night I waited for him to get in through my window and pull me into his arms, holding me close to his heart. Alas, there I was. Still waiting.

I tapped on the black screen, no new notifications awaited me. A wave of disappointment drifted over me. I probably looked like a loner. Maybe I really was alone.

Alone with nothing but my thoughts keeping me company. A company I didn't necessarily want because if I slipped and let my mind drift elsewhere, the voices would taunt me.

I sighed, sending him another text. He probably forgot. That thought stung, and another pang of disappointment hit my chest.

Or perhaps he was hurt?

Worry flooded in, and my brain overflowed with a storm of both disappointment and stress raging on. I never knew if I should be worried or angry with him since he kept making the same promises and yet continued to break them. Over and over again.