Torn for choice

Seven

Here goes nothing.

I woke up this morning. I didn't speak, i didn't do anything.

I slowly got ready. I put on a Barça top with sweatpants and air force. I put my hair up into a messy bun and then put my hood up.

I looked around my room one last time, knowing that i would never look at it the same again.

I went downstairs and hardly ate the food Alexia had made. She, as much as i am, is dreading this day.

We drove in silence to the hospital, none of us particularly wanting to speak.

We arrived, but before i could walk in she grabbed my arm and pulled me in for a hug that we both desperately needed.

"I'm here, okay?"
She whispered reassuring me.

"I know, and same goes for you"

"I know. We've got each other"

"Always"

"Let's do this"

I grabbed her hand as we walked through the hospital, both dreading what was about to occur.
We walked slowly to his room, and when we got there the nurses were already in the room getting ready for the event me and Alexia have been dreading for almost a year now.

"I'll let you guys have a moment"
One nurse said, gesturing for the rest of them to leave the room and they did.

In the room was me, Alexia and Marcos.

"I guess this is where i say goodbye?"
He asked with a chuckle. He's always so happy.

"Alexia never stop being who you are. Don't change for anyone and don't let anyone tell you what to do or how to do it. You're the best thing that has happened to me and my sister. You changed our lives for the better. You're the best player in the world, with or without the Ballon D'or, you'll always be the best to me. You're the best person i know. You have a heart of gold and the love you have shown me means more than you know. You've shown me so many things. My love for football grows every time i see you kick the ball. The way you kick it, your awareness and your ability to control a game amazes me. You will continue to achieve things until the very end. Coming from someone who's watched Messi, Ronaldo and Neymar live, i've never seen anyone like you. You're different from them, but to me you're better. You will always be the best in my eyes. I couldn't have wished for anyone better to grow up with. You've changed me and made me a much better person. I love you so so much, Alexia and i'll never stop. When you're sad, or crying which i hope you don't, i want you to think of me and think of how proud you are making me because i can assure you that you will never disappoint me. I'm so proud of you. So beyond proud of you and i always will be. I'll never forget you, Ale. And i hope you never forget me either. Te quiero"

He said this and i teared up. Alexia though? She was in full blown tears. She wrapped her arms around my brother not wanting to let go. He wiped her tears and kissed the top of her head numerous times.

"I'll keep playing for you, Marcos. Everything i win is for you. Te quiero"
She said and he kissed her head one last time.

"Keep doing me proud, Alexia. You're my hero"
He smiled and let her go.

"Hermana, you've got a long way to go. But you won't be alone for one moment of your journey. You've got your family and me. You will always have me. I may not be there to hold you in your darkest moments or be able to laugh with you in your highest moments, but i'll be supporting you from above and protecting you. Just because you can no longer see me, doesn't mean i'm not there. I want you to go back to Spain, Aitana. Stop playing for Arsenal because you don't enjoy it, you only play for them because of me and i won't be here for much longer, so whats the point? Leave, Aitana. It isn't good for you and it's doing more harm than good. I don't really know what to say to you. I love you more than life itself and you've been the best big sister i could have ever asked for. The way you never stopped caring for me when mom and dad died. Even though you were struggling you made sure i was okay, and you've never stopped caring for me. You got me into the sport i love, and watching you excel has been amazing. You're achieving your dream, not currently but when you go home you will continue your dream. You will always be my big sister, Aitana. My real life superhero. You're the best person i've ever known and will ever know. Never stop for anyone. Play for me, Hermana. I love you so much, and i won't stop. Just don't forget me, okay?"