Unwritten

xvii

Yoongi won't let me go until I tell him what I said that caused that reaction from his members. I refused and told him I whispered it so he wouldn't hear it. It's up to the members to share it with him or not. Normally his pouts and whining will work on me but I just found him too cute to give in. I wanted to keep seeing his pouty face and whining voice but I have to leave as I have a lesson with my Korean student.

After the lesson, I spent the rest of the evening in my room/granny flat and looked up the group's performances and concerts online. It was amazing how this group of young men commanded the world with their songs, their impact on society undeniable. On a lighter note, I noticed how each member has a persona on stage, their charisma and presence palpable. But as soon as they finish a set they turn soft and mushy with their fans. Almost childlike in their demeanour. I felt privileged to have met them, though quick on a personal level while they are candid and themselves with their hyung. And with Yoongi, spending time with him like this is more than enough for me. I won't ask for anything more. I won't try to get to know him more — the layers of his personality, his oddity and flaws. He has the whole world in his hands and who am I in it?

I'm a no one who can't even remember half her life. I didn't even want to date anyone. I don't want to be anyones burden. Yes I don't have memories but I got baggages. What can I offer him? I need to start letting him go before I fall deeper into this rabbit hole that is Min Yoongi. I turned on my side covered my head with the blanket and held my arms close to me as my eyes became heavy with tears, light sobs escaping my mouth. How I can I even let someone go I never even had?

Min Yoongi, I'm wrecked.

***

Morning came and it's a brand new day. After my sob fest last night, I promised myself to be no more than anything to him. I'll do my job and that's it.

But the universe had other plans that day.

I found Yoongi in the kitchen making pancakes. He was wearing an apron over a white jumper with black pyjama pants. Damn can he be anymore husband material? Shut up Ellie. If that's all a husband is then you can just marry the guy from the pancake parlour. He probably makes better pancakes.

"Morning! Had a sleep in I see."

"Yeah my student won't stop talking." I rubbed my eyes and yawned to support my statement cause obviously I'm lying. I stayed up late because I was bawling over him, of getting over him.

"Your eyes are swollen. Are you ok?" His voice soft as a whisper.

I headed to the fridge to grab an ice pack, "This is all I need."

"Ok. Have some I made it for us."

"Thanks." I was just gonna leave and I recognised something playing. "Is that Chopin? Are you playing Chopin?"

"Yeah Nocturne Op 9 no 2" you know it?"

Classical music was all I've been listening to since I lost my memories in hopes of firing up my brain cells to retrieve my memories. I mentioned this before when we first met.

"Yeah it's my favourite. It feels like a warm hug." I blurted out.

I caught his eyes twinkle as I shared this TMI as if proud of himself on choosing this background music today. Come to think of it, on my first day here, he was playing classical music too. So much for a hiphop/r&b producer huh? But that's actually admirable, branching out to music you don't particularly gravitate to.

"I'm curious about something."

"Uh hmmm.." I'm stuffing my face with the pancakes now. "What about?"

"You always hum this tune when you're thinking or busy taking down notes." He sat down across from me on the dining table.

I frowned trying to think what he's talking about. "I do?" Still clueless.

"Yeah I thought it was a classical but judging how you hum it I don't think it is." It's like this he copied it while raising his hand as the notes went up and down. "It's just four notes so I can't really tell what song it was."

"Hmmm.. not sure. I only ever listen to classical music so I'm pretty sure might be it."

"Interesting."

"Really? What I find interesting is you playing classical music."

"Interesting."

"What?"

"You just noticed it now? I always had it on. Maybe I should've put it up more so you could hear it."

"What do you mean?"

"I was playing it for you." He leaned back touching his earlobes. "You said it can hopefully help you retrieve your memories. I figured if you just hear it in the background your brain will recognise it as just part of your normal brain waves. I read one study about amnesia sufferers..No actually that's a different study that I found..." he trailed off.

He remembered. He was paying attention even back then before we knew each other. He's a really thoughtful soul. Anyone could've easily dismissed that piece of info but not him. He cares and made an effort to help me. He even read research papers! My family didn't even bother. They just told me to pretty much get over it and live on. I'm not mad about that I see why they would say that but I did express that I wanted to know, to remember. And here is this stranger who heard about my condition and saw me cry over it looked up studies and coupled that with action to help me. 

I'm swaying. I don't want to let him go. 

Can i just cling to him?