Evangeline Carter wants nothing more than to make it through her final year of college in one piece figuratively and literally. With a messy ending to her long-term relationship, the task of getting over him deems harder than she thought it would be...
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I think I may have officially lost it.
That's the only plausible, logical explanation to explain the weekend's events or the two rimmed filled shot glasses of Jose Cuervo Hannah, Alex and Maya kept sliding my way to pregame severely impaired my lapse in judgment because what in the actual hell was I thinking.
Here's the thing, I wasn't thinking or overanalyzing the situation before trying to talk myself out of it because of my insecurities. I've never been so unsure of things since my breakup with Brett but one thing for sure is that I really wanted Jaxson to kiss me.
I'm sure seeing Brett may have partially played a role in my initial decision to say yes to Jaxson, and add in mykenna that didn't really help. I don't really know, but half way through it I was really enjoying myself and completely forgot about why I initially did it.
My heads been all over the place since Nate's party, I don't know what or how to feel about whatever transpired between Jaxson and I or if things have remotely changed between us. Maybe I'm just overthinking things and analyzing the situation for what it's not. Maybe this attraction is only one sided.
The teasing, flirting, sexual tension it was like a catalyst this natural pull and uninhibited desire something i've never felt for anyone before. Maybe that's it just unreleased pint up sexual frustration that just happen to be explored during a vulnerable time.
The light touches from the pads of his calloused fingers grazing my exposed waist caused a rush of heat to flood all over my body.
It was enough to render me completely undone.
I was completely ready to throw caution to the wind and let whatever happens happen
The idea of a hookup has never appealed to me, I enjoy the security a relationship brings but now it doesn't deter anymore and who better to experience the no rules or expectations than with him.
But there's the nagging feeling that getting involved with the one person on this campus that doesn't want anything serious might be a mistake, a big one I'm in way over my head but I'm through telling myself I don't like him.
I don't know where this leaves us, are we friends? Did we somehow draw this invisible line in the sand?
The sound of rustling startles me and I'm quickly brought out of thoughts as someone puts down their stuff taking a seat in the row in front of me. The class is starting to slowly fill as more students file in, and I can't help but glance at those double doors again. The anticipation of having to face him looming over my head.
Is he going to bring it up because I don't know if I've had enough caffeine to get me through that entire conversation.
I'm in desperate need of a distraction
Finding my phone, I scroll through the mass of notification from the girls, who are debating on the plans for halloween. I quickly reply, letting them know I'm good with whatever. Pulling out my planner, I double check to verify the time and date for my internship.
