My breath hitches as I inhale rapidly desperately searching for air. Eventually oxygen finds its way to my lungs and I try fiercely to continue breathing. Finally, my breathe evens out creating a stead pattern allowing me to sit up. When I turn, my gaze is met with Lorenzo's furious one. What the fuck is Lucifers problem?
"Why the fuck did you not pull the patch off?"He roars jumping out of his chair.
"Because I can take more pain you stupid bitch!" I roar back to match his tone. Without another word, Lucifer storms out of the room slamming the door shut behind him. Dramatic fuck.
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By some miracle, I was able to locate myself to my bedroom were I practically threw my self into the shower.
Half on hour later, I step out of the shower and change back into the shorts and hoodie I was wearing earlier. I really need to go shopping. The silence in the room is interrupted by my stomach growling.
For fucks sake, I have to go and search for the kitchen now. Why is their house so fucking big?
Instantly after I leave my room, I spot El Chapo striding towards my room with rage spread across his face. My guess is that Lucifer fucking snitched and now Padre is beyond angry. Attempting to escape the inevitable confrontation, I swing open the door that is next to my bedroom.
Spinning myself around, there three pairs of eyes staring at me a bit baffled as to why I am in here, I stare back at them unsure what to do with myself. Fuck it I'm a bad bitch. Running up to the bed, I catapult my bad bitch self onto the bed in-between Diego and Alejandro.
"Hola Dora. Hola Picasso." I grin at them, Dora chuckles. Picasso sends a glass bottle at my head not allowing me time to react.
"Ah fuck you Picasso." I yell at him rubbing my head whilst giving him a death stare, to which he almost immediately changes from smug to panicked. Yeah, watch and learn bitch. Somehow the same bottle ended up flying at Alejandro's head. I have no idea how that happened. Picasso tackles me onto the floor and within seconds we have each other in a head lock. Once we make eye contact, neither of us can help but to burst out laughing.
What? We are bonding.
"Lea, do you want to go out and do something with us tomorrow night?" Ruben asked me however before I can answer Picasso butts in.
"Yeah we should take her clubbing!"He exclaims with pure excitement. Ruby glares at him, although quite clearly considering it. After a while he agrees, Alejandro, Diego and I all leap up cheering, though our cheering is rudely interrupted by my fucking subconscious.
Lea you stupid whore, you have nothing to wear remember?
Ugh. For once just shut the fuck up!
"I have nothing to wear though." I inform them, ruining my excitement.
"Just ask Carmen. She will be able to lend you some clothes or you could ask dad if you can go out and buy some clothes."Diego suggest to which I nob back in acknowledgement.
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Hours pass by as we watch movies, I learn more about the mafia, Alejandro tackles me, I tackle Alejandro, they learn a bit about my life and I learn about theirs before we pass out on Diego's bed. Comparing our upbringings, there is hardly (if any) differences between them, we all learnt how to handle a gun, how to throw knifes, how to handle and numb pain, how to try and disguise our weaknesses, how to defend ourselves and how to attack.
Once I was sure that my brothers were all asleep, I silently snuck out and back into my bedroom. The constant fear of waking them up from one of my nightmare lingered in the brain, blocking any sleep to take over me.
Stumbling in my domain, I sluggishly approach my bed. The lack of sleep from last night quickly hits me making it difficult to hold my eyes open. I slump down on my bed and wrap myself in the duvet as my eyes become heavier and heavier with each second that passes by. Almost straight away my body drifts off to sleep when my head hits the pillow.
Jolting up in my bed, the tormenting screams replay in my head on a loop. Sweat drips down my shaking body, I trace my hands over the scar on my stomach, only tormenting myself more. I continue to trace the scar, reminding myself of that night. Reminding myself of what I did that night. Reminding myself of what I didn't do that night. All the things I should have down that night cause me all but half of the suffering I should be feeling 24/7. I shouldn't be the one who is alive. I should be the one who is six feet under. She didn't deserve what happened to her that night, any of it. She had so much of her life ahead of her but it all got taken away. An innocent life taken by our evil. And I am the one to blame for it all. Tears start to trickle down my cheeks but I wipe them away profusely. If I cry them I am weak, I can not show weakness. People will use that weakness and destroy you. Snatching the duvet, I wrap it around my body again and I sit on my bed allowing the horrors of that night consume me and punish me.
This is what I was afraid of happening in front of my brothers, the inescapable question I would be bombarded. Questions that I try to avoid whenever possible. The only people who have ever found out were the police, paramedics, my mum and her parents. Although non of them know the whole story. I wouldn't do that to them, I couldn't ruin their perspective of her. Especially her parents. This was my burden and my burden only.
I stay lying still, frozen, with my blanket wrapped around me as I stare blankly out of the glass balcony doors watching the moon shine in the dark night sky.
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Sorry that this chapter is a bit shorter.
I hope you enjoyed.
Until next time - N
YOU ARE READING
Ángel
RomanceLeandra Álvera, always left in the dark about her real life. About her father. Her mother told her it was for her own good. To protect Lea. But what happens when Lea learns all her mothers lies? Everything she thought to be true gets turned upside...
