Chapter Three

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It all started when I was young, my mum is a very busy woman, who is always away from home because working is important I guess I took after her.

Dad has always been the one from the time I can remember, he bathe me, cook and feed me then take me to school, he will also come to pick me in the afternoon, this has been his routine and he has always been my favorite.
On my 8th birthday dad bought so many things for me and celebrate it in a grand style, I was so happy that day, everyone gave me present and I was happy to share my cake with them. At night everyone left and my mum being a nurse was on night shift that day, she left for work after arranging the room and putting me to bed.
Later that night, my dad came in to my room, he's always with me every night after mum tucked me into bed, he will sing and tell me stories till I slept of, and he won't cease to tease me as am a chubby girl.
"my baby is becoming fuller and beautiful, won't you appreciate dad for what he did today?" He said and i smiled.
"Daddy I would love to appreciate you but I don't know how to" I replied.
"I will teach you, it will pain you but bear the pain, don't tell anybody okay? Not even your mum because I want only you to be enjoying as I will buy many good things and anything you want for you."

I only nod my head that's when my dad started to molest me, then I always look forward to have him all night as I begin to enjoy it with him, days when mummy is at home, daddy will look for way to have me, mum being herself never noticed because even while she's at home she always say she's tired and slept off not without giving instructions that "I don't want my sleep to be interrupted".

When I was 12 I had my first pregnancy for him, he aborted it for me, this goes on till I was 17 and I have already aborted 6 pregnancy for him. At 17 I had a big sis in my street that likes me so much because of my looks, "you are a very pretty girl and look so much like my mum younger version, unfortunately I took over my dad's look" she said to me when she first met me, she starts to take me out sometimes, it was when I had my 6th pregnancy that she knows what am going through as she saw me in pain when she came to call me and I explained what I just did to her, she put me through sexual education which my mum has not for once put me through.
"Omolade don't you know that your body is the temple of God? You need to keep yourself with dignity, nobody is meant to have sex with you at this tender age, it's called child molestation and such person needs to be arrested" I was already shivering, even though I never told anyone about it but my friends in school are already having sex, they always talk about their boyfriend's, so how am I different? Why would dad be arrested?

"Lade..." She continued "the truth is you are exposed to sex as early age which is not appropriate for your mental and psychological health, normally at your age then, you should have been schooled about sex but now that it isn't so Lade you need to stop that act you are into, you need to abstain from sex because abstinence is the best, do not listen to anyone trying to tell you that you can continue but use condom or contraceptives this has its side effects which is not a good one, with condom you can still get pregnant because it can tear or gives you itching, with contraceptives it can affect your hormones and causes irregular menstruation, stopped you from having menstruation totally, make your body get irregular shape and sometimes it also fail as even married ones still get pregnant while using it, what is now your excuse? Molade do you know you can contact HIV/AIDS if you continue this way? Do you know that the drugs given to you was to avoid getting infections which is not 100% certain, you can have STIs (sexually transmitted infections) and if not treated totally it can graduate to PID (pelvic inflammatory disease) how come you never knew all this baby girl? Sex is sweet, it's heavenly but it's only if you are with your partner, even with your partner you can't possibly have sex everyday you will get tired of it, something that you will soon be tired of why start so early? You are still young and have a long way to go in life do not wear your womb out before you meet your partner, abortion kills, what if you died? What if it results in removing your womb? How do you want to leave your life afterwards? Wait! Who is this person that has been doing this to you?"

I was dumbfounded, with the new learnings and her question I couldn't hold the tears i cried my life out when I know what am into, I told her who it was and she was already spitting fire, she was angry and crying at the same time, she made me promise to stop which I did but dad do not have it, he raped me that night again, I cried to my big sis again the next morning and she followed me immediately I want to bury my shame that's why I didn't involve police, sister olamide threatened my dad so much that I can see it in his eyes that he feared that she will do what she has threatened him with which are i) Police ii) Human rights for child abuse iii) She will report at his work place iv) she is a social media influencer . Dad knows all this and more she's capable of doing, so he started avoiding me at home, I on the other hand always stay away from home staying with sister ola till mum is back, on my 18th birthday mum announced that she has resigned from work and I gave her the sweet news about what has happened to me courtesy of "dad" I called it sweet because I expected her to be happy as she was happy working, for the first time I saw her cry but no, I didn't feel any iota of pity for her.

I gained admission to the university few months after my birthday, at first I'm always alone with no one to talk to, not that people don't talk to me but I always give monotone reply and they get the message clearly, after my first year Ayobami became my friend and he is a friend to Shinaayo so I had only 2 friends, Ayobamikale and Oluwashinayo, we where so close that people thought am dating one of them, truth to be told I had crush on shinaayo, but I stomach my feelings because shinaayo as many girls crushing on him, some said it to my face, some even do things to him in my presence thinking I will react to it but no! Instead I will have Ayobami talking to me about one thing or another, we were only best of friends.

I kept my past to myself, the only people that know about it are my mum, step dad(because my mum later told me my dad died in a car accident when she had my pregnancy and was just 5months due that was why she married my step dad when I was 2 years old) and my big sis(which later got married and moved to Kano), I maintained a no relationship till I graduated, I don't want to go back to were I was before, it was a trauma that lasted for 4 years before I got healed, mum made sure I never miss my therapy classes, I saw a new version of her, I wished it was like this from start maybe all this would not have happened.























Dear mother, we so much crave for your love, if only you know what your absence in our lives have cost us, we cherish your presence so much, dear mum's and mum to be do not fail your role as a mother, be a responsible and good mother to your children, you brought them into the world and you were happy you had them, why caused so much pain in their lives because of your negligence? This might be a question if we failed as a mother.
Molade might not be molested if her mum was present for her😭😭 why? Why destroy someone life in the cause of your own enjoyment? Someone like him should just be castrated or rot in jail.

Letter to a mother
Dear superwoman, a wonderful being you are, your children are the amazing gift from God and you are responsible for them, remember responsibility awaits you, the more you accept responsibility the more you feel strong, powerful, purposeful, in the end it gave you happiness and contentment, your greatest responsibility is to give your children flow of unconditional love, friendship and acceptance then watch as all negative emotions leave them and they becomes the best of what you wish for them, you are a superhero that no one can trade for anything in this world that shows how much special you are as a mother.

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