Not everybody needs a thneed (Once-ler X Lorax)

The day after

"You're home late" the Lorax said.
"What are you doin up its like two-r in the mornin" Once-ler slurred out.
"I was writing a plan to solve world hunger, all I got was stop being hungry which isn't helpful."
"And that took you alllllllll night"
"Yeah I'm not proud of it"
"Anyway bye bye it's bed time now see you in the mornin" the Once-ler stumbled into his room (knocking into everything in the vicinity) and crashed onto his bed and forgot all his troubles.
~
BEEP BEEP
BEEP BEEP

The Once-ler shot out of bed "SHUT UP WHAT TIME IS IT"

8:30

He had completely forgotten that it was a week day and now severely hung over has to do all his classes. He begrudgingly slumped out of bed and rolled on the floor to pack his bag. He got changed into a fresh set of clothes and made a hang over cure.
"Good morning Ed, you sleep well?" TheLorax chirpily.
"Shhhhhhhhhhh you're too loud my LORD" Once-ler said moodily.
"Hung-over?" The Lorax said raising a eyebrow.
The Once-ler shamefully nodded and walked down to the cafeteria for breakfast.
~
It was like a war scene. Hundreds of student desperately clinging onto their last remaining brain cell, tears welled in their eyes. People laying on the cool touch of the tiled floors. Others still trying to keep the party going with icy beers. Stoners smoking their bong without a care for the school rules that constrain them. Students whispering fresh rumours of last nights perils. Pupils shamefully leaving each others room leaving their dignity along with their clothes. Others sleepily making oaths to each other to never drink again. Teachers staring down in horror at the alcoholic zombies infesting their pristine academy. And the Lorax the only one who didn't get wasted that night with a bright glow to his face and a perfectly brushed moustache looking smugly at the pool of idiots.
The Lorax said loudly "I wonder what's on the menu today." A wave of groaning washed over them.
"Come on man can't you bottle up your smugness and be QUIET" the Once-ler didn't realise he shouted the last word until everyone's heads in the cafeteria turned to look at him with deathly expressions.
"Yeah I'm the one being loud" the Lorax rolled his eyes, went to get his breakfast and sat down. The Once-ler slowly rolled down the stairs to the cafeteria, mumbled a few non-coherent words and went to the table with Skylar and her friends.
"You look like death" Skylar said tiredly.
"So do you" the Once-ler replied.
"Crazy party last night, I didn't go to sleep until half an hour ago" everyone at the table was asleep on their arms.
"Mornin' Ed!" Ed Sheeran said joyfully, "enjoy the party last night it was proper fun, I see that some people are still partying up there" he pointed to the stoners and frat boys with glee.
"Yeah the party was... interesting, it felt like the party went by really quickly but that could've just been me"the Once-ler said.
Ed's smile broke for a split second but then returned "that was just you mate, anyway, Sky don't tell mum about this right she would freak out like she did when we were in high school."
"She didn't freak out about the party it was how everyone like right now are so hungover on a school day" Skylar said "what's with you and throwing parties on week days? I won't tell mum but why would she care now we are legally allowed to drink and legally we are adults."
"Thanks Sky, Ed man you're crazy time was totes normal anyway bye bruvs" it was almost like he vanished because in a few seconds of him being there he was completely unseen in the cafeteria.
The Once-ler looked around the hall and saw the Lorax on his own. He felt bad he should've invited him to join the party as he clearly didn't have any friends. The Lorax looked like he was meditating. The Once-ler walked over to check on him.
"Lorax wake up" he snapped his fingers "HELLOOOO ARE YOU THERE, EARTH TO LORAX."
"What" he opened a single eye to give him a dirty look, "I am busy not that it matters to you"
"What are you doing?"
"Contacting my family."
"And you're doing that how?"
"Through the ginger link" he said as if it wasn't weird.
"It's real?! You can really just contact any ginger at any given time?!" The Once-ler said in astonishment.
"Yeah..." he said confused "doesn't every hair colour have the ability to do that?"
On the table behind them sat Queen Cheryl who turned around and said "hell no you weird Oompa Loompa looking thing"
"How rude you shut your scarecrow looking, never hugged by your family looking, Oli London looking, annoying ass up." The Once-ler replied. The Lorax smiled at him and chuckled.
"Can you like annoy people with this ginger link?"
"I guess I haven't done anything like that people have done it to me sending me images of tree stumps and pollution and meat."
"What's wrong with meat? Meat is like the tastiest thing."
"You KNOW I am a vegetarian but anyway it's not chicken or beef it's like human meat and stuff."
"Oh"
"So back to what I was doing which is talking to dad and pops"
"How are they?"
"I'd know if i wasn't interrupted!"
"Bye Lorax" the Once-ler whispered and tiptoed away. The Lorax got back into his meditation pose and focused really hard to contact his parents.