The Once-ler walked out of plantology class with a fresh perspective. He now thoroughly regretted the truffula tree genocide of 2018. He remembered the last truffula seed that he kept in his bedside table. He should probably plant that, but who has the time? He might give it to his grandchild or something. Maybe he could give it to the Lorax. Nah, that little Cheeto chip would probably sit on it by accident and blame it on him.
The Once-ler checked his schedule:
Plantology -> Free Period -> Satanic rituals (optional) or Lunch -> History -> How to be a Capitalist 101 (Business) -> E.O.D
"SIIICK a free period" the Once-ler says to himself.
"UGGGGGHHHHHHHH"
The Once-ler turns around, he sees the Lorax curled up on the floor crying while holding his schedule.
"What?"
"I have maths, I'm gonna kill myself"
"ITS ONLY THE SECOND DAY! YOU HAVEN'T EVEN HAD ONE MATHS LESSON YET!"
"WHATEVER!"
"Good luck man"
"I'm gonna need it"
The Lorax begins rolling away leaving a pool of tears trailing behind him, like a snail but sadder.
The Once-ler begins walking back to his dormitory for his free lesson. Someone taps his shoulder.
"Hey where you going?" Ed Sheeran asked skeptically.
"My dorm? I have a free lesson. Why?"
"No reason just ... stay away from my dorm alright?" He looks incredibly paranoid, like a stoner.
"Okay... any reason? Should I be worried? ARE YOU BEING HELD CAPTIVE?! no that's crazy... OR IS IT CRAZY ENOUGH TO BE TRUE?!"
"No uhm I'm fine just practicing my guitar sooo... don't worry about it man, bye."
"Bye"
That was weird, let's not read into it, it toooootallly isn't that deep.
The Once-ler sits down at his desk and began to write his feelings:
I'm the onceler I speak for the thneeds
You're the lorax you speak for the trees
We were never meant to be
Like water to a flame
But our celestial connection
Enthralled me to you
I want these feelings to pass
But like spring
You melt my frozen walls
And enthralled me even more
Though it will never last
axes and trees
And promises that can never be
I'll never forget
The pain you gave
But I'll never regret
Meeting you
My little cheeto puff
Man that's deep and not written in 5 minutes. He even teared up. He wished that he never found out the truth and that he could live in a pretty pink castle with all the thneeds in the world with his husband the Lorax, but that will never happen.
The Once-ler picks up his guitar and begins strumming the strings, he slowly begins to sing'How ba-a-a-ad can I be?... I'm just doing what comes naturally...'. Now he was full on crying streams of tears, with more water than the river Nile. He looks up to his posters.
"Oh Tay-Tay what am I to do, I can't be Fearless like you. Oh The Beetles here goes the sun. Oh Gerard I too am not okay!"
"Who are you talking to?" The Lorax asks, he had mascara running down his cheeks which is weird because he doesn't wear mascara and his eyes were blood red.
"Oh no one..." the Once-ler looks up "Holy shit are you okay?!"
"NO! WHAT THE FUCK IS A CARTESIAN PLANE?"
"That's literally so easy."
"NO THE FUCK ITS NOT"
"It's geometry?"
"Ew screw geometry, gimme algebra any day of the week!"
"You WANT to figure out what x's mother in law is equal to?"
"Uh ya! Anyway why aren't you coming down for lunch?"
"I didn't hear the bell..." the Once-ler says, then he whispers "over my tears..."
"Over your what?"
"UHM, over my hardcore metal music on my headphones!"
"Your headphones are in my room..."
"WHAT THEIF! Why are they in your room?"
"I needed the playlist we made together and I got locked out my spotify account. Sooo I took your iPod and your headphones."
"Why couldn't you use your own headphones?"
"Because they're wired and yours is wireless. I don't wanna feel like a broke bitch!"
They walk down to the cafeteria. They almost got caught up with the satanic rituals, the Lorax sensed a ginger among the people doing the rituals, 'weiiiirrrdd' he thought but he moved on. They ate lunch together with Skylars group. After the Once-ler went to his history class where he learnt about the invention of the shrinking ray. Then to his business class where he saw where he went wrong. Finally it was the end of the day.
YOU ARE READING
Not everybody needs a thneed (Once-ler X Lorax)
FanfictionThe Once-ler wants to start fresh and joins a academy filled with people to fairies. The Once-ler is still deeply saddened from his past relationship that he will quickly have to face. Once at the academy everything starts acting strange. Read as th...
