19.

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"you almost died."
the words pierced through me.
like bullets.

i almost died,
i didn't realize.
did i want to?

i just wanted to talk to them again,
my mom and brother,
just to see them again,
hold them,
to be with them.
i missed them,
it felt good.

but i also missed my friend.
and i couldn't leave him,
i didn't want to leave him.
i needed to wake up.
i had to,

i wanted to.

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