41.

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the nights after my mother's
and brother's accident
were the hardest.

i was still young,
just a little boy.
i couldn't yet grasp
what had happened.

during the day
i had distractions.
i was in the backyard,
playing with the neighbourhood kids.
i was at practice,
focusing on the goal ahead.
i was in class,
trying my best to do well.

but every evening,
when the lights were out,
and i could hear the owls
and crickets,
when my dad locked himself up
in his study again,
pacing endlessly,
mindlessly,
i had no distractions.

and i was alone,
wondering,
why my brother wasn't wishing me
good night,
anymore.
why my mom wasn't tugging me in,
anymore.

w

h

y

"good night, little brother."
"sweet dreams, my little man."

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