Dysphoria

Chapter Fourty Seven

Nate woke me up the next morning, gently rubbing my hair.

"Hey."

"Hey." I squinted at him with a smile. "How long have you been up?"

"Not long." His eyes were gentle but concerned.

When I opened my eyes fully, I was confused at why we weren't in my bedroom, looking around at a bench press, sets of weights and mens clothes on the bed.

For a few brief seconds I couldn't remember what I was doing here or why I had stayed over at Nate's place. After we argued I thought I had told him I wasn't going to stay the night?

My memories started trickling back. Nate walked me home, I got into my bed then-

And then it all hit me like a bucket of cold water.

Red and blue lights in the driveway. Officer Rodgers and Martinez's faces flashed before my eyes like something from a bad dream. A wave of violent nausea rolled through me.

I gazed up at the ceiling and tried to control my breathing. I knew Nate was getting ready in a hurry, he had stayed longer in bed with me than usual. I didn't want him to leave but I wouldn't say it.

"I'm gonna go with Mom to notify the school and let them know you're going to be out for a couple of days okay?" Nate said matter of factly taking charge of the situation.

"Thank you." I said quietly.

"Just text me or call me any time. If you need something tell my Mom, or I'll leave and come back here straight away." He insisted.

"I promise I'll be okay." I reassured him. "Can you do me a favor?"

"Anything." He said opening his dresser drawer and pulling out a clean shirt.

"Can you tell Maddy for me. I...I want her to know but I don't want to have to talk about it all if that makes sense."

"I'll let her know. If she doesn't kill me first." He said kissing me. "You sure you're okay for me to go?" He asked.

"I'm sure. But I'll miss you." I leaned up on my tippy toes to kiss him, something he always appreciated.

I felt fucking dreadful, like all the energy and will power has been drained out of my body. I didn't know I had fallen back asleep until Marsha knocked on the bedroom door some time after she got back home.

"Can I come in?"

I sat up in bed immediately.

"Yep. Of course."

Marsha came upstairs and sat at the foot of the bed.

"I spoke to Principal Hayes, he sends his condolences and said not to worry about missing class, we can get your homework and notes sent to you while you're out. Oh and Nate wanted me to tell you Coach Martin said they needed him for some kind of pre game thing and he'll be home as soon as possible."

I just nodded wondering what the hell I was even going to do today. There was a lot that needed to be done but my brain still felt like it was asleep.