The Burdens We Carry

Prologue

Time. A strange concept, for humans they have a few good years, before their lives become harder either due to illness or life. Either or, the undeniable fact was that time was fleeting to mortals.

To immortals such as her, it barely scratched the surface.

For years, centuries she roamed earth. Watched the rise and fall of kingdoms. She watched Kings and Queens vie for thrones, she's watched humans slowly lose themselves to greed. She watched it all with an apathetic gaze, after a few years it becomes boring, then insufferable, to repeat, to live longer .. to have indefinite time at your disposal .. centuries and now a millennium... 1000 years give or take a few years. She had been made to endure humanity.

She'd been made to watch them, she watched as greed swallowed them whole. She watched as pride became their downfall, she watched as they loved and lied , lived and died but more than anything she was made to watch her siblings.. her dear siblings become husks of the former selves.

Kol the youngest became a deviant of the highest order, he partook in debauchery, hedonism, murder all for his enjoyment. Scattered corpses like breadcrumbs, as if he wished Mikael to find them, to find them and put an end to their immortal lives. She supposed she couldn't blame him. She had often thought about what would have happened if she simply allowed he abusive man to slip the white oak stake through her chest.

Would she have felt the relief of death? Or would she scream in agony as she burned to ashes?

Questions that unfortunately had no answer because she didn't .. No she didn't quite allow Mikael to kill her that evening.

Instead she watched him forcefully trying to shove the stake into her chest with a sneer on his face, much like she had seen in her younger years.. that very sneer he would wear as he took her far away from their hovel and ripped her shirt to beat her.. yes she no longer felt affection .. or fatherly affection for the man that showed her the cruelty of the world first hand. More so when wolves took away the sweetest boy she had ever met.

But yes Kol was no longer mischievous and curious .. his mischievous eyes devolved into cruelty.. she watched as it happened and stayed her hand but never turned her eyes away, when his gaze would fall to hers when Niklaus would run him through with a silver dagger doused in white oak..

Rebekah .. became someone entirely different. The young girl who was obsessed with meeting a prince and marrying and adoring the purity of love became someone who enjoyed toying with the hearts of her suitors with utter glee, she watched as they fought over her as if she were some trophy. She didn't blame Rebekah.. no she was at fault. After all out of all them Rebekah revered their mother the most and she had taken her away in a fit of rage..

Elijah.. there wasn't much to say. The man hid his darkness with elegant suits, well placed smiles. He hid his monstrous side with polite words and a gait to match. Pretentious bastard he was..

Niklaus perhaps he was off worse. He watched as she killed their mother. He was there as she shoved her hand through the woman's chest, with nothing but anger in her eyes.. she claimed it was to protect him. Maybe it was or maybe she just hated the woman, she hated the woman that cursed them with this eternal life, she hated the woman that laid with a werewolf and fathered her.

An indiscretion that could be forgiven once if it were only her that came out of said union but no.. it was not.

When Niklaus killed for the first time she watched as every bone in body broke, his teary blue eyes.. as he begged her help.. she went to help but .. Elijah came followed by Mikael.. the rest was history.

But maybe for all his faults he wasn't as bad as her. She carried an awful reputation, her behavior , her attitude, the bodies piling up at her feet. She believed herself to be true to her nature.. after all was she not a creature of the night? Was she not a monster used to scare children into doing no wrong?

Was she not the monster hiding underneath the bed? There was no reason to deny her true self. There was no need to cover it up with polished words and beautiful clothes. Her blue eyes burned with apathy, she killed to protect, she killed those who dared cross her, she killed because she could. She ravaged villages, delighting in the mens screams as they pleaded for mercy, for death, a death that would of course eventually be close at hand but mercy she did not give.

Where was her mercy? Where was god when she asked pleaded for him to save her from Mikaels wrath? Where was he when her back bled with ugly raw gashes torn into them.. where was he when her supposed sperm donor tortured her for hours on end inside a deep forest for being born as she was ?

He did not come, he did not come when she begged, cried and pleaded.

Eventually the tears dried up, her tear ducts refused to shed another a single salty drop.

Instead she took every beating with a blank look. If she couldn't admit it to anyone perhaps it was best she admitted it to herself..

Truth was she was broken, she broken by the man who was supposed to care for her. She was broken by the mother that turned the other cheek. She was broken by the brothers and sisters that never saw her pain.. all but one..

Heinrik... he saw her pain, he tended to her wounds deep in the night, he whispered his love to her and promised when he was able to , he would stand up against her oppressor. He would keep her safe, safe so that she may no longer needed to endure the pain.

But then Niklaus the foolish boy took away the one person that knew her, that truly knew her.

When her youngest brother bled through his clothes, the last piece of her heart and hope shattered as she watched his eyes dull over with no more light, no more optimism.. no more dreams, no more promises of taking her far away, away and safe.. in his last whisper.. instead of complaining about his pain, he whispered painfully.. "I'm sorry" a vague apology with no verbal recipient but she knew she was the one it was for but by the time it reached her ears, her blue eyes froze over, her heart shattered into a million tiny indistinguishable pieces..

So yes, if she couldn't admit it to anyone else , she could admit to herself. She was entirely broken, shattered and not even the love of her siblings reached her. None knew what she endured ... none of them were aware of the pain she suffered, the agony she was forced through since the age of 9...

"You're here , once again you sit there and not say a word" the woman paused with a questioning look on her face "Tell me Kára.. why is it that you pay for sessions but barely say a word?"

Kára allowed her lips to tug in a dry smirk, the therapist a woman she'd recently sought out, thinking perhaps finding help would allow her to mend what was once broken. A thoughtless pursuit, a useless pursuit of recovery.. "I'm not sure.. what I expect. I sit here on this lovely couch wondering.. if I would be so different if he survived.."

"If who survived?"

Kára smiled a sad smile , her eyes dulling with the reminder "If my youngest brother lived and kept his word.." the bell rang indicating the end of the session and the immortal got to her feet. "Well I Suppose next week we'll have more time."

"No.. no.. you don't have to go, we were just getting somewhere"

Kára shook her head "I'm afraid I have a prior engagement to tend to.. thank you Dr Shelvey .. as always your advice has been helpful."

"What's so important that you cannot stay?"

Kára paused at the door "A brother of mine seems to be causing a ruckus."

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