Mixed Feelings

31.

Beth

Riley and I might not get along and I might not like the girl but I don't think anyone deserves to be spoken to like that
I listened as West explained it to everyone, in a very cryptic way might I add before they all rushed off 
If this situation is what I think it is.. There will be on place where I know Riley will be 

I walked over to the girls bathroom before realising that was too obvious, sure enough the disabled toilet next to it was locked
Sort of solidifying my fear 

Taking a deep breath in, I walked over gently tapping the door. The was a shuffle from inside the door before a small voice spoke
"It's um occupied" Riley said making my face drop a little

"I know it is Riley. Let me in" I said but all that followed was silent
"unless you'd prefer me to tell the boys where you are" I said and then finally there was movement 

Riley got up off the floor before unlocking the door allowing me access, I opened the door to see Riley sitting back on the floor, this is not something I would wish on my worst enemy 

"So how many times have you made yourself vomit now?" I asked making her look up at me, almost as if she was checking for a correct answer
"I haven't yet" She muttered placing her head down
"I couldn't bring myself to do it" She whispered

I sighed taking a seat next to her, I don't know who this Marcus guy is but man, he's a dick
"That's a good start. It means you have a bit of self restraint" I said, Riley tilted her head to look at me before sighing at me

--

"What are you doing here Beth? We both know you don't like me. I was pretty sure you would have got enjoyment out of that mess" She said
Usually, I would but nobody and I mean nobody deserves that
"Regardless on our relationship Riley, I can't stand little boys who be little the likes of us. I've been there, I've done that and I've got the T-shirt" I explained making her chuckle before looking at me 

"So tell me, what does he do?" I asked but from the look on her face this was not something that she had wanted to talk about right now
Not to me at least and that's okay 

"Have you told James?" I questioned making Riley bit her lip. That was an obvious no

"Riley, he would understand a lot more then you think" I explained earning a confused look from her
"Back when I first joined the next step, I was in a toxic relationship with food. I hated seeing any sort of extra fat on my body and the moment I did, food just became an after thought" I continued 

"It wasn't until I passed out in practice one time that anyone noticed. The one person who didn't judge me for it was James" I concluded making Riley bit her lip again

"It's more complicated then that. Him finding all of this out honestly will change how he looks at me completely, nobody would want anything to do with me when they find out" She muttered
"I find that incredibly hard to believe Riley" I answered 

"I don't know what it is about you but you pull everyone in. There is something about you that just makes people love you. I don't think a shitty past is going to change that at all" I continued 

"It's a lot more then just a shitty past" She whispered, looking at me. Her expression was not only fear but is was also vulnerable, hurt
"Then take it one step at a time. Both West and I are in that practice with you, we won't let him say or do anything to you" I explained

"but I do think you really need to at least talk to James about it" I said making her nod 

"Can we keep this whole bathroom thing between us?" Riley asked making me smile as I nudged her
"Of course, do you really think I want people knowing we got along for more then 5 minutes?" I asked making her roll her eyes