Cold as Ice - WinterWidow One-Shots

sins of a soldier

Summary: When James Barnes appears on her doorstep after the fall of SHIELD, there's really nothing else for her to do except help him work through his memories. She's a prominent feature in many of them, after all, and perhaps the best person for the job. She probably could have anticipated Hydra coming after her for it, but she would never have hoped Barnes would come to her aid.

It was hardly three days after she sent Rogers on a wild goose chase when Barnes showed up at her door with a ghost of a smile and a soft, "Hi, Natalia". Everything after that was simple.

She'd known he would show up on her doorstep one day, but she'd expected him to be a bit more brainwashed and much more inclined to kill her. Instead, there had been bags under his eyes and he'd been hunched in on himself until he looked hardly more threatening than a wet dog. She'd let him inside, of course, and locked the door behind him.

It took several days for her to realize he wasn't going to kill her and almost a week for her to realize he remembered more than he was letting on. He slept on her couch and she woke up to him crying. He spoke Russian and she pretended that her heart didn't stutter at the sound. When he did finally admit it, it was almost a relief.

"I remember who you were to me," he had muttered, not quite meeting her eyes, "but there're still a lot of gaps."

She could work with that, though, and so she did.

* * * * *

Four weeks after Barnes appeared on her doorstep, he started sleeping in her room and neither of them mentioned it. She bought their groceries, he cooked their meals, and they both worked through the jumbled mess of memories that were trapped in his head. One thread often led to another and neither of them would sleep until they were too drained to think on it more.

Six weeks after he appeared, she woke up crying from a nightmare and something between them changed. Barnes became James and Natalia would sometimes be Nata or―when he thought she wouldn't notice―lyubov. From there, it was only a matter of time before they returned to each other.

On the morning when Rogers called, officially requesting her to join him and Wilson on their hunt, she'd still been tangled in James's arms despite noon drawing nearer.

"We got a lead, Nat," Steve's voice said through her phone. "Hydra's been searching for him and Sam tagged their team a while ago. They think he's hiding out somewhere in Maine."

"As much as I'd love to join the fun," Natalia said, "I've got my hands full. Personal project."

Her eyes flickered over James as he laid beside her, arm thrown over her waist as he laid on his stomach. His eyes were closed, but his hold on her was a little too firm to fool her into thinking he was asleep.

"Personal project?" Steve echoed. Natalia hummed. "I thought you said you were lying low."

"I am," Natalia replied. "Espionage isn't my only hobby, Rogers."

Steve's laugh echoed through the receiver.

"Call me if you get another lead," Natalia instructed, "and keep me updated about Hydra."

"Yes, ma'am," Steve promised. After a reminder that she was always welcome to join him and Sam, Steve let her go.

"We're in Maine," James muttered, eyes still closed.

"You eavesdropped?" Natalia's fingers combed through his hair, entirely unsurprised James had been listening, but still wanting to tease him for it.

"That runt has a voice that carries a mile over," James grumbled. He poked one eye open. "It hardly counts as eavesdropping."