Cold as Ice - WinterWidow One-Shots

failures of an enterprise

Summary: During Natalia's first solo mission after she and James defected to SHIELD, her handler decides she'll use her old tricks to get information from their target.

A/N: There are a few notes before reading that you should be aware of.

First, this takes place in an alternate universe where Natasha and Bucky both defected to SHIELD together. Second, there is referenced dubious consent that you need to be aware of. It is not between Bucky and Natasha and it is not expanded on, but it is a main plot point. Please mind your triggers and only read if you feel okay and safe doing so.

James was still adjusting. They both were. With over a year since they defected, there were still things to learn about being free and working under the supervision of an American espionage agency that both James and Natalia were struggling with. There were things they knew they should be comfortable with, but it was hard. The only thing that wasn't a hard, though, were the missions.

Just like everything else, SHIELD ran missions differently than the Red Room or Hydra had. James was expected to avoid killing their targets in favor of obtaining information; Natalia was not forced into the bed of one man or another to steal secrets and kill in silence. It was a good change, but a change nonetheless. There were still times when James nearly pulled the trigger because it would be easiest and Natalia found herself using more force than necessary.

For their first missions, they'd been separated. Barton was sent with one of them while the other remained at headquarters and while it had been irksome, they'd endured it. While Barton was sent to accompany them less often now, they had yet to be sent out together.

"Barton says they're afraid we'll disappear," Natalia murmured in Russian.

They had yet to feel comfortable speaking in English with each other. The language sounded clunky to their ears, even if they were both fluent in it, and James would openly admit to still distrusting some of the other agents. They looked at them strangely sometimes and even though he knew some of them spoke Russian, it was a safeguard that neither of them was eager or willing to let go of.

"Where would we go?" James scowled. "If we left, the whole world would be after us."

Russia knew where they'd gone, that much was certain. SHIELD kept records and although both Natalia and James had lied while filling out information for their separate files, it wasn't enough to keep them safe from either the Red Room or Hydra if they searched for them. After James had been shot with an unidentified Russian slug on a mission in Eastern Europe, their suspicions had only been confirmed. Defecting from SHIELD would make them targets for almost every country in the world.

"They're just scared," Natalia told him, running her fingers through his hair with a soft smile, admiration clear on her face.

Since their arrival to SHIELD, she'd started letting down her guard around him, even when they were in their room at headquarters, and it was James's favorite new thing about her: being able to read the admiration loud and clear. In Russia, she'd been careful even while out on missions. It was only after a thorough check of their safe house that she let herself relax around him. With SHIELD, she'd been quick to make the change. Others wouldn't notice, but James did.

"I love you," he breathed, reaching a hand up to gently cup her cheek. Seated on the edge their bed with Natalia standing between his legs, he was below her but not out of reach.

Just like she did every time he murmured the words, Natalia smiled and leaned down to press her lips against his. It was short, unpanicked. That was another change they'd both quickly adjusted to: the easy affection. Their handlers, although stern in their own way, wouldn't punish them for touching, whispering, or sharing glances. All things that would have led to immediate and harsh punishment in the Red Room were now permitted and neither James nor Natalia were going to take them for granted.