Cold as Ice - WinterWidow One-Shots

love for my darling

Summary: glimpses of Natasha and James's relationship through a series of hugs

A/N: This one-shot is an AU/rewrite in the sense that instead of just Natasha defecting to SHIELD, I'm writing it so both Bucky and Natasha defect together. Some things are going to be changed because of that, but I'll give enough context for the changes within each little section.

Italics represent Russian

i. Northern Tibet, 1989

He still couldn't believe his luck, though perhaps that was a fairly optimistic word for it. The blizzard was a pain to hike through and they'd both nearly frozen on their way to the safe house, but it also kept their handlers away for an extra night and he'd never curse anything that gave them a few more minutes together.

The mission had been rough and Natalia was sporting a large bruise on her hip, but they had gotten out and even if they were just going to be shipped back to Siberia and frozen until the next mission, he was happy.

Natalia, exhausted from both the mission and their earlier round of lovemaking, was asleep. She'd curled in on herself like she always did, putting her back to him in a way that signaled her trust in him far more than words ever could. While he would have preferred to see her face, to watch how peacefully she slept with him, he couldn't bring himself to turn her around. She'd wake up, of course, and then he'd have to explain. It was unlikely she'd fall back asleep, too, if she was forced to put her back to the only door of their makeshift bedroom.

Snaking his arms around her warm waist, James pulled her closer until there was no space between them. She huffed in her sleep but didn't stir awake. With his nose buried in her hair and his legs tangled through hers, he breathed in deeply and closed his eyes.

In the morning, they'd be returned to Russia and separated, put in cryo until their next mission. It was the same endless cycle that only got worse with each separation, but they had talked: him and Natalia.

After a chance encounter with a man named Barton, Natalia had a contact outside of Russia that was eager to get them out, should they choose to join the Americans. It was hardly a plan and Natalia had muttered about only going if he went too, but it was something. It was a start. And James would be damned if he let anything come between Natalia and a way of escape.

"Go to sleep," Natalia murmured in Russian. Her hand ran along his arm that was wrapped tight around her waist. "I can hear your thoughts."

"I thought you were asleep," James whispered.

"I was." She squeezed his arm. "Now I'm awake because you're thinking too much."

James muffled a soft laugh, pressing a kiss behind her ear.

"I'll sleep, love," he promised. She was already relaxing in his arms again.

"Good," she breathed, her voice barely audible even in the silence of their room. "I love you."

"I love you too," he echoed.

She was asleep a second later and, promising himself that they'd both get out soon, he followed soon after her.

ii. South African coast, 2015

She was shaking. She hadn't stopped shaking since that Maximoff girl had crept into her mind and Clint had found her pressed into a corner, silent tears on her cheeks.

"Come on, Nat," Clint murmured, gently pulling her to her feet. "Barnes is gonna rip my head off if you don't check-in."

She didn't respond. Her comm was missing and her mind was a mess, but Clint had mentioned James and it was all she could do not to shout for him.