Strangers?Or Not? ONGOING

Chapter 16 - 2

2021

I pushed Anquit's mood swings to the back of my mind as I got through my day at work. There was a lot to do and no time. I was on the threshold of actually losing it because NOTHING WAS WORKING MY WAY.

First, Anquit made me late to my meeting with Miss. Sabharwal. She was a sweet lady and didn't really mind but I did. Then, the printer had to stop working. And right now, the design team working on the coverpage of our next book was coming up with such shitty designs, a fucking five year old could make them with their feet. I was so goddamn frustrated with everything.

I dug my nails into my palms, a habit I had picked up to deal with stress, closed my eyes, and forced myself to relax.

Deep breathe in. Count to 8. Deep breathe out.

I repeated the same thing about five more times, until a semblance of peace made its way to my mind. I had just allowed myself to feel relieved, when suddenly Anquit's face flashed in front of my mind. And a wave of sadness washed over me.

It was not just him, but the fact that he had brought with him memories of the past, a past I had kept locked up for all these years. The one thing I had tried to run away from for so long, had finally caught up with me. I think I missed my friends more than anyone else. They were simpler times, and I had thought if I had them by my side, I could fight the world.

Alas, I was wrong. The world had won. Because I didn't put up a fight. Instead, I pushed everyone away.

I shook my head, ridding my brain of depressing thoughts, storing them in the extreme back of my mind, where I have always kept them. There was work to do, and I could not afford to waste any time.

The rest of the day passed by in a blur of me yelling at my juniors and getting yelled at by Miss. Sabharwal. We were running on a time crunch and everyone was irritable.

There was an office party in the evening. Something for everyone of us to look forward to. Especially after a day like today. I wasn't sure what the reason was. I think one of the employees' birthday? Well, I will find out soon enough.

Turns out, one of the editors, Meera had resigned last month and today was the end of her notice period. She was on Shreya's team and Shreya was giving her a going away party, complete with cake and chips while Meera treated us with samosas and coldrinks.

I met Meera, wished her all the best for her future endeavours, and left to look for Shreya,  my only company at this party. 

As if telepathically communicating with me, she turned up right in front of me.

"Arre, tujhe hi dhundh rahi thi!" She exclaimed. (Oh! I was looking for you)

"Bhai mai bhi!" I chuckled at her. (Bro me too!)

We were leaning against the printer, talking about random things. Someone had brought a bluetooth speaker and there was pop music playing. A few of the editors had moved all the furniture to one side of the floor so that they could dance. We were laughing to ourselves, watching them have the time of their lives. Don't get me wrong, we weren't laughing at them.

"Look at that guy in the corner," Shreya whispered in my ear. "He reminds me of the way papa dances,"

I looked at the guy she was talking about, and couldn't help but be reminded of my own father. It felt as someone had sucked the air out of my lungs. I hadn't thought about my father in a long time. I needed a minute alone. Or I would breakdown right here, right now. I half-smiled at Shreya and got up, telling her that I'll be right back and headed for the balcony. Fresh air was exactly what would help.

I stood in the balcony, taking deep breaths, inhaling the cool Mumbai air, which smelled a lot like smoke from the traffic below us. I couldn't help but think about my father.

He had tried so hard to maintain a relationship with me after his divorce. But I had blamed him, resented him and pushed him away too. By the time I realised my mistake, it was too late. For months, I was too scared to initiate contact. I was scared he would be mad at me. And when I had finally worked up the courage to call him, he didn't even pick up. The next week, my mother told me he had died of a heart attack. It had been three years to that now, but I still missed him. On my pretty long list of regrets in life, this had to be on the top. Not contacting him sooner.

The sound of someone entering the balcony interrupted my thoughts. My back was to the door, and I didn't know who it was.

"What's wrong?" the voice whispered. I didn't have to turn around to know who it was. I could recognise his voice in my sleep. It was Anquit.

 I swallowed the lump in my throat. I hadn't noticed until now, but a lone tear had escaped from my eye. I wiped it, acting as if something had gotten into my eye, not wanting him or anyone to know I had been crying.

"Hmm?" I hummed back. If I spoke, he would know I had been crying. My voice would break, for sure.

"Kya hua?" He repeated himself, his voice just as low as before. (What's up?)

"Kuch nahi," I managed to reply, my voice a little more normal now. (Nothing)

He walked up to where I was standing, situating himself next to me, leaning on the railing. 

"So, just not a party person?"

"Aisa nahi hai, bas yaha accha lag raha hai, hawa bhi chal rahi hai. What about you? Don't like parties either?" (It's not like that, just, it feels nice here you know, it's windy too)

"Not exactly, it depends on my mood. Unlike some people, jinhe samosa khane se jyada hawa khana pasand hota hai." (who like enjoying the wind more than enjoying samosas)

"Are you making fun of me?"

He shrugged in response. I gasped dramatically. "How dare you!" I exclaimed, punching him lightly on the shoulder. Though I could not help the smile on my face. 

It had taken him less than two minutes to improve my mood. Suddenly, I felt the urge to hug him. Maybe it was because of what a day today was. Maybe I was subconciously looking for comfort and he was the first one offering it. Yes, that must be it. I supressed the urge, looking at anything but him. Clearing my throat, I spoke again,

"Beautiful view, isn't it?" I gestured to the sea of lights in front of us. I was desperate for a distraction.

He must have sensed my discomfort, for he moved back, a fraction of a distance but it relieved me, though I would never admit it.

"Yes, it is," He replied after a pause. If only I had tilted my head in his direction, I would have known he was looking at me.

I have no idea how office parties work, so pardon me if what I've written is inaccurate. Two updates in three days? Damn, I must be on a roll