Secretary Jeon [Jungkook x Reader]

♡ 30

CHAPTER 30

The sweet, warm taste of vanilla on my lips was almost enough to soothe my nervous energy. It felt as though I'd regressed somehow, from a strong, imperturbable woman, to a giddy schoolgirl with a crush. I held my coffee in my hands like it was my last bastion of willpower not to be captivated by the man in front of me. The heat was burning my fingertips, but it was the sensation I needed to remind me of my purpose.

"I'm sure this may be a bit awkward to discuss," I started. "But I need to know what happened with us a year ago."

Jungkook's eyes dropped to the table, and he took a sip from his drink before meeting my gaze. "Would you mind clarifying?"

I tightened my jaw. Was he really going to feign ignorance? There was only one thing I could be referring to. "Why did you leave like that?"

"I told you," he said sucking in a breath. "I got close to you so that I could advance in the company quickly. When you selected me for the new talent showcase back then, it opened many doors for me, so I figured I should end things between us sooner rather than later."

"You realize those don't even sound like your own words coming out of your mouth, right?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean you sound like a fraud," I sighed in frustration. "You sound rehearsed. You sound like your desperate to believe the crap you're saying. I just can't figure out why."

Jungkook narrowed his eyes and pushed his tongue into the side of his cheek. "I think it's time you let this go, for your own sake."

"If that's what you really want, why even invite me out tonight?" I questioned, my irritation growing more evident by the tone of my voice.

"It was for work."

"Bullshit." That was complete and utter bullshit. He didn't need me present tonight to gain something from the exhibition. He'd wanted me there.

"What do you really want then, Y/N?" His chocolate brown eyes were drilling holes into my soul. "Why did you agree to come if you doubted my intentions?"

I stood from my chair, walked to his side, and leaned over him. With my mouth just inches from the side of his face I whispered, "What I really want is for you to admit that you loving me wasn't a lie." I placed a soft kiss on his cheek and turned away from him, prepared to walk out the door. "Goodnight, Jungkook."

I hadn't accomplished much, having left with more questions than answers. But I had confirmed one thing- something was off. At the gallery, he'd talked with me, laughed with me, treated me with such tenderness as if nothing had ever soured between us. It was as if he'd forgotten he was supposed to feel nothing for me. And at the café he'd explained himself to me, but his words were empty. Emotionless. The only emotion I could read was in his eyes, and only briefly, in nearly impossible to catch flickers. And that emotion was sorrow.

Back outside by myself, I pulled my phone from my clutch and dialed the one person I knew that could cheer me up and wouldn't be bothered listening to my incessant complaining. "Jiminie, can you come over? I want to get drunk."

~

Two bottles of soju deep and my cheeks were numb, the room was spinning, and a tingling sensation was spreading across my entire body. Jimin was watching over me, feeding me water between shots and trying to make sure I didn't go completely out of my mind. Listening to me drone on and on about Jungkook was probably boring, but he still paid attention to my rambling. I would owe him one for this.

"Can you believe he told me I should LET IT GO?" I whined, slurring my words as I grabbed a handful of salty snacks from the table.

"The audacity!" Jimin let out a dramatic gasp and proceeded to burst into a fit of laughter.

"I have let it go," I continued, either ignoring or oblivious to Jimin's teasing. "You know what? I don't even care anymore. Screw Jeon Jungkook!"

"That's the spirit!"

Another hour into my 'hate Jungkook' party and the alcohol was hitting...hard. I was hardly self-aware, swaying back and forth and vibing to the music, mumbling incoherent sentences. At some point, the doorbell rang and Jimin stood to answer it.

"Oh, hell no," Jimin's mouth dropped.

"I'm here to see Y/N," the voice spoke from the doorway. Even in my state, I could recognize that voice in an instant.

"Jungkookie!" I yelled from my spot on the floor, giggling wildly.

"She's really not in the proper state of mind to see you," Jimin sighed, rubbing his forehead. "But whatever, come in. She probably won't remember this, anyways, and I have questions for you."

Jungkook's eyes went wide when he stepped inside and got a look at me. "Is she drunk?"

"No," I hiccupped.

"Yes, she is," Jimin rolled his eyes and motioned for Jungkook to take a seat on the couch. "Why did you come here? From what I heard tonight, you made it pretty clear that my sister means nothing to you." I remained silent, only partially able to comprehend their words. I could barely focus on staying conscious, let alone the content of their conversation.

"I felt bad about how I left things at the café," Jungkook spoke quietly, looking down at his hands. "I thought maybe I should tell her the truth, after all."

"And what's that?"

Jungkook took a long pause before answering his question. "Your father caught on to mine and Y/N's relationship. He told me I needed to leave the country or else...he would use you against her to force her to obey him."

A flash of fury appeared on Jimin's face, his grip tightening on the glass in his hands. "Of course, he did." He took a sip of his drink. "Why didn't you come to me? I could have done something. If he was threatening her with me, you should have let me make the choice on how to handle it."

"I couldn't do that to Y/N. You're her most important family. It was easier that I just disappeared from her life."

"So, why not just come clean?"

Jungkook leaned back in his seat and chewed on his lap. "I only just found out that your father wasn't dictating her love life anymore." Leaning forward again he continued, "Then, I worried if it would be wrong of me to force myself back into her life. I convinced myself that if she had moved on, if she hated me, that might be better for her."

"Yet you're here," Jimin stirred his drink with his finger and raised an eyebrow curiously.

"I still love her," Jungkook spoke confidently. "I never stopped loving her. It may be selfish, but I want her back in my life. I can't keep pretending that I'm not dying inside every time I see her."

"Then, you need to tell her. Let her decide for herself what she wants to do."

"Thank you," Jungkook gave him a half smile.

"Don't thank me," Jimin shook his head, a stern look in his eyes. "You broke my sister's heart and I only forgive you because I recognize that it wasn't entirely your fault, and because it seems like you broke your own heart, too." He glanced over to me- I was still rocking back and forth in ignorant bliss. "Now, help me carry her to bed."