And It Just Keeps Getting Worse

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a/n: hey mortals! !TRIGGER WARNING! this chapter, and chapters to come,  will be talking about anorexia. yeah, sorry for the spoiler. please note that i do not want anybody to feel at all uncomfortable during this book- and it's totally fine if you would like to stop reading. you don't have to if you don't want to babes <3

When I was going to sleep that night, I woke up. (No, I'm not going to explain to you every single gory dream just know that it was about Tartarus again) I looked at the clock, 2:48 am. As I was walking down to go to the pool, I noticed Bruce in the infirmary- on his computer researching Awys To Terat Aneroiax. "Yo," I said- startling Bruce, "what are you doing?"

"Oh, this? Uhm..." He uncomfortably looked around the room, avoiding all eye contact with me. "W-What do you think I was doing?"

I looked back over at the computer. I stared at the last word until it unscrambled Anorexia. (Thank the gods, he wasn't a psycho. Everyone knows that you have to keep your computer on dark mode.)  "I think that you're researching anorexia because I haven't been eating."

Bruce looked around the room, tapping his middle finger on his desk with a slight rhythm. "So... what if I am?"

I held my hands up, "Dude, I'm not saying that's a bad thing. I just want to know what's up with it."

Bruce looked both worried and relieved at the same time. "Okay," he said as he lead me over to his computer. There was an article on it, and my head was spinning trying to descramble the letters that were dancing that were all around the page. "Y'know what anorexia is, Percy?"

I nodded as I remember everyone being concerned about Nicos supposed mental illness. "I have- had a friend that we thought had it."

He continued looking at his computer as he asked, "Any idea what triggered it?"

"His sister died." I said simply. Bruce nodded and told me to sit down so that he could check my blood levels.

"Percy," he said after looking at the results. "You need to start eating again. It's not healthy for you." I nodded in acknowledgment. "I can help you," Bruce mentioned. I was grateful for his kindness, and accepted his help. After that both of us went to our separate rooms and slept.

                                  -----TIME SKIP BROUGHT TO YOU BY DRAMA-----

The next morning, we both woke up early. Yes, earlier than Steve- that was a struggle. We met back up in the clinic. He told me that this morning for breakfast, he wanted me to at least try to eat a little bit. (a/n: sorry, i don't know much about anorexia and in that area so i'm sorry if this isn't at all accurate, and i don't meant to disrespect anyone!) He told me how he wanted my thinking to be towards eating, and that he knew why I wasn't.

"Percy, you aren't eating because you want to be able to control something in your life. That's fine, wanting to control something. But not eating is not the way to do that. Even though you feel like that you finally have control over something- it slips between your fingers later on. And then, when you realize that you aren't able to eat regularly and you don't have control over that, then you panic. You don't want to get there, Percy." He spoke. "We can make you anything that you want for breakfast- any ideas?"

I shrugged my shoulders. "Anything, oh but make it blue." He looked confused but nodded his head.

"Steve's going to be up soon; I'll start making you some bLuE pancakes." We both chuckled a bit as he went off to the kitchen and I went to the pool. When I got in and sat on the bottom, I heard my fathers voice in my head.

Self-harm, Percy, is not the way to cope with sadness, anger, regret, guilt, sorrow, or anything for that matter. I can't stand seeing you this way, my son. Don't add to your problems and worries. 

"Easier said than done." I responded aloud. The water muffled my voice and outgoing sound. But almost after a half an hour of just sitting there, alone with my thoughts, I looked up to see Bruce standing at the edge of the pool- with a towel. 

When I swan up, he handed me the towel and asked, "You ready?" I nodded but handed him back the towel and willed myself and my clothes dry. He looked a bit shocked- but we walked inside and walked up the stairs to eat breakfast. That sounded so dramatic when it's literally a normal everyday thing why is this author bad like this like what please stop-

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