Find me, Atlas

Chapter 16

Skylar~

I feel out of place, like saying yes to Mattie's date request wasn't the best option. I don't even know why I accepted in the first place, it's not like I did it to avoid Atlas, but it was along the lines of that.

I feel ridiculous...

I was waiting for him to ask me...

But I knew somewhere inside me that he wasn't going to. And I didn't want to seem desperate I guess, so I clung to the next option that Mattie so conveniently gave me.

It's not like Nate's awful, after getting his insta everything started to lighten up. He seemed like a cheerful guy, like-able and sweet. And he was in fact... kind of hot.

But that's no comparison to- never mind.

I spent the night awake, lying with my thoughts. They were jumbled up and talking over each other, there was no main focus. I just hoped my brain would make sense of it all, make sense of everything that was wrong or confusing in my life, everything that was backwards.

The biggest problem with my head was that all of it pointed back to Atlas. The pain, the confusion, the anger. It all related to him.

But I still can't get enough, it's like we've waltzed our way into each other's lives, but we don't know how to dance.

He's not good for me, I know that. I've known that but... it's cringy to say, it's like the universe is trying to tell me something different.

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I met Nate the next day at the school library. It was the first day we'd ever actually seen each other in person, and I was really weirded out.

We sat at one of the tables and he kept trying to start a conversation but my mind was still in a mess.

"Hey, if you're uncomfortable with this then we can cancel." Nate said grabbing my attention.

"No, no! I'm- Im sorry." I grabbed his hand and let out a relieved sigh, "My minds just in a stir right now..." I need to come up with something quickly... "Proms been on my mind for a while, and I'm still not ready for it, I don't have my dress, or heels..." Ok please... interrupt me won't you?

"Oh, no it's okay I get it. My sister was like this too for her prom. If it makes you feel any better, I've thought a lot about it too... but I'm prepared." He started to smile.

"I guess it's just not how I planned it to be." I said back, trying to keep the conversation. But I guess it's true.

"Do you know what dress you're getting?"

"Yeah actually, do you wanna see or are you traditional?"

"What?"

"Well like, sort of for a wedding I guess, you don't see the bride in the dress until the ceremony."

"Oh, no I don't mind. You can show me." He waved his hand down like it was no big deal.

I pulled out my phone and searched;

"Wow, it's gorgeous." Nate said impressed.

"Thanks."

"We can match, I'll find a tux that looks nice with it." He implied.

"Really? Yeah that sounds cool!"

"We'll look amazing, steal the show."

I laughed with him as the bell rang, he really wasn't so bad after all.

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I headed to class feeling bright, one thing was starting to make sense in this chaos. As I turned the corner, I backed myself up when I saw Atlas talking with Sawyer.

"Having trouble in paradise my good sir?" Sawyer said teasing Altas.

"Fuck off, if you aren't gonna help me then just go." Atlas said pushing Sawyers hand away from his cheek.

"Hey don't get all pouty on me now, I dunno who you're so upset over but if she said yes to another guy then that's it bro. Ya lost."

"It's not like she was asked directly, the coward got a friend of hers to ask."

Wait, are they talking about me and Nate?

"Still, he got to her first. Just get someone else, how important was she?"

"Important. She shouldn't be going with that bastard."

"Okay now I need to know who. Speak up chap. Since when do you get all prince mode on girls?"

Atlas didn't say anything, he just rolled his eyes and started walking away. Sawyer grabbed his shoulder and forced him back. "Dude! I almost dropped my stuff." Atlas said to him.

"Then don't leave mid convo on me next time."

"Look, the girl I want to go with is someone I shouldn't want to go with. She's the only fucking girl in this school that I've ever thought about unclearly and clearly at the same time, she's a total mystery. And that mystery girl is someone I've always seen as an annoying bitch but now
is who I pictured I would walk into prom with wearing a gorgeous royal blue dress with heels or flats, it doesn't fucking matter cuz her feet would get tired either way, she's outshine everyone at that fucking party because she does it on a daily basis and I'd be with her doing the same because shes- I mean she's my girl ya know?"

Sawyer looked just as stunned as I felt. "No I don't really know what you mean but you're fucking drunk in love or some shit. What'd you drink? Lemme get a sip."

"Fuck off."

"I don't really know what you want me to do, you won't tell me who it is you're fawning over, you act like I'm some god that can snap his fingers and make her yours. The fuck you take me for?"

"I dunno man, I really don't. Maybe I just needed to rant."

"Did it work?"

"No. I just want her to like- telepathically choose me instead of him."

"Uh okay, good luck with that." Sawyer said, he patted Atlas on the shoulder and walked off. Atlas kicked a locker out of anger and started walking into his classroom.

There's no way that wasn't about me... it was too close...

I can't believe this, Atlas seriously, what are you doing to me? This is misery.

But it's exciting at the same time, he looks cute when he's pissed, I wanna know how cute would he look when he's really really mad.

Time to find a new dress.

{😏😏😏😏😏😏 what do we think? Shits bouta go down lemme tell you...}
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