Marge and Homer Simpson have officially broke up. Homer is single, lonely, and needs someone to stop him from spiralling into an alcoholic depression.
Seymour Skinner has had his heart crushed by Edna Krebapple for the 5th time. He is sick and tired...
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It had been a long long day at the nuclear power plant. Homer was ready for a night at Moes, drinking until he forgot about the troubles of his daily life.
He stepped in to the dark bar, his nose scrunching at the smell of old Duff beer and smoke. Moe grunted a welcome towards him, but Homer ignored it. As he ordered a beer, is eyes scanned the bar looking for some familiar faces to talk to. To his surprise, none of the regular customers were there. In fact, the bar was completely empty.
"Business bad today Moe?"
"You bet it Homer. Not a single bar fight in 25 hours."
Moe passed a pint of Duff to Homer. He sighed, preparing to drown out his thoughts with beer, until someone else walked through the door. The bright street lights cast a shadow around the mans face.
Homer looked up and stared, realising the mysterious man was none other than Principal Skinner. He looked quite dishevelled and his hair was messed up. Skinner slouched down on a bar stool and ordered a whiskey. Homer was confused, Skinner wasn't the type to frequent Moe's Tavern. To be completely honest, Homer didn't even think Skinner drank.
"Why does every woman I love leave me for a much better man" Skinner lamented. Homer chuckled, and replied "I understand COMPLETELY".
Skinner glared at him. "How can you understand? You've been with Marge for your entire life. You have never been rejected by anyone and you've never been dumped".
"Thats not true... not anymore" Homer took a sip out of his glass. Skinner looked surprised. Homer grimaced. He expected his reaction. Nobody could possibly have predicted what happened to Homer today.
"W-what happened with you and Marge?" Skinner tentatively asked him. Homer felt the tears rising. "She finally left me. Took her long enough, I didn't treat her right at all. It was only a matter of time."
Skinner looked at his glass, then back at Homer. "If it's any consolation, I always thought you were a good husband to Marge."
Homer smiled, and took another sip from his glass. "Thanks Skinner, that actually does help."
Homer remembered what had started this conversation anyway. "Skinner... which Springfield bachelorette dumped you this time?". Skinner sighed. "Edna..."
Homer spluttered and choked on his beer in laughter. "Again!? Skinner why do you keep going back to her?". Skinner side-eyed Homer. "For your information, this time it was my idea to break up".
Homer mulled this over. Why would Skinner be so sad if it was his decision that broke him and Edna up? What was this feeling in Homers stomach when Skinner looked at him? Homer didn't quite understand either of these questions, but he blamed the alcohol for that.
"Look Skinner, I have to go sort out some stuff with Marge and the court." Homer slurred his words slightly, but he managed to write his number on a napkin and hand it to Skinner. "In case you need any more woman help."
Skinner smiled, pocketing the napkin before waving goodbye to a drunk Homer. Moe had finally come back from the back room. "Hey Skinman. Homer takes beer a lot worse than you, and if you don't want a Homer shaped pancake on the road tomorrow morning you better drive him home".
Skinner walked out to where Homer was repeatedly hitting his head on the door frame while trying to sit in his car. He helped Homer into the seat and sat down in the drivers seat. Homer mumbled out the directions to his small apartment, and Skinner started the car.
