Beyond The Fangs

Chapter 33

IZEL

I just stood there, staring at him, dumbstruck for ages.

Even though he'd told me what he was, I couldn't stop thinking about everything he'd said before. My pulse hadn't relaxed from then, and it showed no signs of slowing down now. I'd felt every organ explode inside of me with each word he'd said.

When he'd mentioned my lips, I'd felt my eyes flicker down to his, if only for a second. I'd begun to wonder what his lips would feel like against mine. I'd wondered how his body would feel against mine, how his hands would feel in my hair, on my body. I'd cursed myself straight after.

He'd told me to stop acting like I cared, but it was then that I realised that I wasn't acting. I actually cared about Jaeger, and that terrified me. He made me feel the way I felt because I cared about him. But I wasn't going to say any of that. I wasn't going to admit that I felt what he felt.

Instead, I was going to ignore everything he'd said and focus on the fact that he was an Impurity. My teammate, the one I was supposed to be fighting the Zas with—the Zas being the most powerful vampire ever—was not a vampire. I was going to fight the strongest vampire with a human-vampire.

In all honesty, I didn't care, he was still the same Jaeger. He still irked me in ways no one else could and made me feel things no one should. I could tell he was on edge though. He wasn't looking me in the eyes, he kept clasping his hands together and then unclasping them, it seemed like he was holding his breath, waiting for my response. This secret of his must have put him through a lot, to the point where he was tormented just to speak about it. He took such a trivial matter and treated it like a life-or-death situation. He didn't want to go through whatever he'd gone through, and I didn't want to make him go through it either, so I wasn't going to. I was just going to be honest. Completely honest.

"You're... the first Impurity I've ever met," I finally managed to say. He only nodded, and I continued, "that's... pretty cool."

His head whipped in my direction, his eyes wide as they met mine again, "what did you just say?"

"That's pretty cool," I repeated, failing to hold back my smile at his reaction. "I really don't get what the big deal is."

"The big deal? I'm an Impurity Izzy. My parents, a vampire and a human got together, they laid together and they had—"

"I know what it means Jaeger," I interrupted before he went too far into detail, "but it's not a big deal, at least not to me."

I could see relief cloud the shock and angst in his eyes. "You really don't mind what I am?"

"No, I don't mind who you are. What's so wrong with being an Impurity that you struggled to tell me?"

"Being an Impurity means I'm neither human nor vampire, that means I don't belong anywhere. I was shunned, and that's why I've been alone all these years."

"That's why you've been alone? Because you're an Impurity? Not because you're such a pain to be around?" I teased.

He snickered, "seriously? A joke now?"

"Sorry, just trying to lighten the mood." He was less grave now, and he'd grinned earlier. Satisfied with his current mood, I told him to continue.

"Vampires found me filthy because I had human blood, while humans found me dangerous because I had vampire blood."

"Is that why you killed both races? Because you felt like you belonged to neither?"

He nodded, "my dad was killed by vampires, and my mom was killed by humans, so when I took revenge, I took revenge on both races."

"They were both killed by their own kind?"

"Because of me," I confirmed.

"How long ago did you lose your parents?" I asked.

"15 years ago, when I was 10."

I bit down my tongue, forcing myself not to exclaim 'you're 25?!' I was afraid he was going to be hundreds of years older than me since vampires lived longer than we did and aged slower, but he wasn't a vampire, not a full one at least.

I realised we'd both lost our parents at a young age. He was 10, I was 8. But I had people to comfort me, he didn't.

"And you had nowhere to go?" I asked.

"I'm not a human and I'm not a vampire so what am I, Izzy?" He snapped, clearly not meaning to because he sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose, "where do I fit in?"

The way he asked the question was as if he genuinely wanted to know. He still felt like an outcast, like he had no place anywhere. I finally understood why he didn't want me to know about him being an Impurity, he'd thought I'd treat him like a foreigner, that I'd shun him. He wouldn't admit it, but he had been afraid of me leaving, not because he needed my help to defeat the Zas but because he didn't want to be alone again, and I can't imagine how lonely he must have been all these years.

I found myself taking a step closer to him and wrapping my arms around him, paying no regard to the fact that he was still shirtless.

"What are you doing?" He asked, his body stiff.

"Hugging you."

"Why?"

"I just... I think I finally understand you."

A short silence passed then I felt his body relax against mine as he allowed himself to be hugged by me. A long moment passed and I thought I should probably pull away now, which I started doing but then Jaeger suddenly wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in again. My breath caught. 

"What are you—?"

"Let's just stay like this for a little longer," he said, and I was afraid my heart might stop beating altogether.

His body felt so right against mine, and I couldn't help but rest my head against his chest. He drew me closer and my entire being came alive. My eyes fluttered shut as I soaked up his warmth and the feel of him.

A little longer wasn't long enough.