Beyond The Fangs

Chapter 35

IZEL

I've been trying to keep my mind focused on anything but Jaeger, but despite my efforts, my thoughts kept wandering back to that time in the cabin. I couldn't ignore the fact that I wanted to do something more than just hug him.

I shuddered at the thought.

Before, I generally didn't know why I cared, but now? 

I stumbled on the horrifying truth after I hugged him. I realised that my body hadn't been reacting the way it had been because of a fight or flight reflex, but because of what I felt. Jaeger made me feel those things because I had feelings for him.

I shuddered again.

No matter how hard I tried to deny it, I couldn't, it was the only explanation. My body was acting the way it was because it got excited anytime Jaeger got close because I cared about him. I cared about a vampire— no, an Impurity, but that wasn't any better.

"What are you thinking about?" Jaeger suddenly asked.

"Hmm?" I asked, looking at him.

"Your brows are creased, you're not focusing on anything, you're biting your nails. You look pensive," he surveyed.

"Oh, I—nothing. I'm not thinking of anything," I lied.

Jaeger could never know that I felt anything other than hate for him. If he knew, he would probably use that information to his advantage. Somehow. Sure, he had confessed his feelings to me, but what if that was all a ruse? What if it was all a part of some grander plan? After all, he was part vampire, and vampires were not to be trusted. I had to keep these feelings to myself, just till I got over them, and even after I did, Jaeger could never know that I had developed feelings for him.

Ever.

I suddenly felt myself shifting closer to him as we walked, but only when our arms brushed did I realise we were too close. I moved away, cursing myself. How was I supposed to feign hate when my body acted on its own? It was as if Jaeger tied an invisible tether around me, slowly drawing me closer and closer to him.

I forced myself to think of something other than my feelings for Jaeger, and it wandered to the fact that he was an Impurity. I probably would've figured out that he was one on my own at some point, because at the river I did notice how human-like he looked. I thought it was just me, but it wasn't. I had actually—

Wait...

The river.

The waterfall.

The cliff.

He had jumped in after me even though he wasn't a full vampire. He had jumped in knowing that he could have died.

He'd risked his life for me.

My pulse suddenly quickened at the realisation, and heat radiated through my body, making my palms clammy.

He had jumped in after me when he could have died and that was... so reckless, so idiotic, "so hot."

"What's so hot?" He asked.

Crap, had I said that out loud? "Huh? Oh, it's just... the sun," I blurted out.

A grin spread across his face, "you know, you don't have to talk just because you have a mouth."

"Then what else am I supposed to do with my mouth?" I asked without thinking, only realising what a phrase like that implied after it left my lips.

Jaeger glanced down at my lips for a second, swallowed and quickly looked away, "you are allowed to think before you speak too."

I forced a chuckle, feeling uncomfortable, refusing to respond in case I said anything else I shouldn't. Rather than speaking, I resorted to thinking. I still couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that he'd risked his own life for mine. He'd valued my life before his. The thought of it all made my heart race and it took every ounce of power I had not to give in to my sudden urge to grab Jaeger, pin him against a tree and demand more than just an explanation.

I needed mental, physical, and spiritual help... any kind of help because I wasn't normal. And it was all because of Jaeger, a human-vampire.

I didn't ask why he had risked his life for me because if I started speaking, I feared I might end up saying, or doing, something unwise. I suddenly felt more drawn to him and I had to step farther away to stop myself from doing something worse than just hugging him.

I couldn't trust myself anymore.