OUT OF LOVE 𖤐 M. STURNIOLO

.ⅴ

LAST NIGHT WAS A NIGHT i needed to have. it felt like a normal day for matt and i, when we were together at least.

i went home a couple hours after the movie ended, after the movie me and matt decided to talk about a lot of things, mainly us and the reason i came over. i hated hearing him talk about his anxiety, especially knowing i've been through some of the same things.

i sat down on my bed to get my phone. i clicked on spotify and played my 'favorites' playlist, i had it on shuffle and the first song to play was '2 cigarettes' by jack & jack. the triplets, nat and i were planning on having a self-day today where we catch each other up on how we've genuine been feeling. i got up and as i was getting ready i focused on the melody and the lyrics of the song, i couldn't help but think of matt.

'lately i can feel us driftin'. both of us been actin' different.'

matt and i hadn't really been as close as we were since the breakup, we hadn't opened up much. there'd be awkward interactions even if it was just a slight touch from one of us.

'we used to be so consistent. is there nothing left to say, say?'

by the way we hadn't been talking, it really did feel like there wasn't anything to say. we usually always talked about anything even if it didn't have to do with us.

'now i see your face but i just don't know you. yeah, the picture's there, but it's not quite focused.'

recently, when i looked matt in the eyes, i questioned if i'd ever still call him my boyfriend again. i can see us happening again, but i doubt it will. because how am i supposed to know if he will ever feel the same.

'and i know it won't but i'm still here hopin'. that it gets better now. it gets better now, yeah.'

i hoped it wouldn't be awkward last night, it still was a bit. but i'm glad the night happened. i just still hope it gets better.

'no more late nights, us just talking. used to facetime, now you just callin.'

matt and i haven't had one of our late night talks or even a late night walk in forever. we face-timed all the time but now it's only when something pops off on social media, and now it's only regular boring calls..

'it's no one's fault but some things just fall apart, yeah.'

our breakup was mutual, and clearly, we're still friends, so nothing got messy. it wasn't his fault and he said it wasn't mine we just grew together, and we fell apart. some things do, right?

i couldn't help it. i just didn't want to keep thinking about him. i quickly ran to my phone and shut it off. i was on the verge of tears as rynn walked into my room with a smile. assuming she saw the look on my face and the tears forming, she asked walking toward me and holding me into a tight hug "nai. are you okay?"

"i'm fine. it's just, i can't even listen to my favorite songs without thinking of matthew. like, how'd it get so complicated? we can't even have a conversation. i'm past the point in trying to save our relationship i want to still be there, and even past the point in trying to save our friendship. but everyday i keep telling myself, it'll work. it won't be as awkward as it was last time."

how do these idiots not realize they were once in love, you can't be friends with someone you're in love with. ry thought to herself.

"nai, i promise everything's going to be okay. you just have to let everything flow the way it's naturally supposed to. you can't control every little thing. you out of all people should know that. i love you and remember to talk to me when you need to talk to someone." she sighed lifting herself off the bed. "now, let's go." she said holding out a hand for me to take, i took it and sighed. "i'm ready."

kadance talks !

loved writing this bc i adore this song and relate to it sm.

and i'm ngl to y'all but i just got done crying and uh also

i basically just stopped being friends w my bestfriend.

not officially yet, but yea. he's stuck on his ex and i 100%

get that, but he knows how it feels to get cheated on and how

it feels to get played and he's doing it w all the other girls he's

used as a place holder for his ex. and on top of that, he literally

talked the most shit ab her when they broke up and he KNOWS

i didn't like her bc of that. she didn't even claim him. ALSO, this

is a long-distance relationship. she was mad at me for POSTING

him for a BFF CHAIN sticker thing on insta. like girl bye af. she

pisses me off sm. she also brought up the fact i used to like

him.. THAT WAS 7TH GRADE??????? IT'S BEEN 4 YRS. go to

fucking sleep.

( editing ; this was so corny. why did y'all not tell me to stfu..)