Chances [Chanyeol EXO]

IX

You barely went out of your room for the entire weekend.

A tray of food rested on top of your bedside table, untouched and gone cold. Your parents and your brother took turns in delivering it, but you didn't eat past three spoonsful. Whenever you were forced to go beyond that, you would run straight to the bathroom, crouching on the toilet. It was as if your body was rejecting any attempt at nourishment, like you didn't deserve to be taken care of.

It was a Sunday, and the weather was nice enough to take a stroll in the park. The sunlight passed through your white curtains, the only source of light in your room. The clear skies were like an insult to how you were feeling; they reminded you of Chanyeol's bright smile, but that image only formed dark clouds in your heart.

What happened in Chanyeol's place two days ago replayed over and over your head. It was vivid in your memory, all the tears and pain embedded into your brain. Every time you closed your eyes for too long you would see Chanyeol's face, how hurt he was, how his tears stained his cheeks, how you sucked the life out of him.

You hated hurting people. When you and Kyungsoo broke up, you made a promise to yourself that you wouldn't use the way he had hurt you as an excuse to hurt others. But you had no choice. You had to hurt Chanyeol. You had to take his heart in your hands and crush it so that he would hate you. You wanted him to hate you because if he saw that you were an awful person, he would turn his back and run away from you. And that was what was best for him. His life was way better without you in the picture. You were poisonous.

A soft knock resounded from your door.

Baekhyun let himself in your room because he knew all too well that you wouldn't get up from your bed and answer it or even say "come in". He knew how weak and tired you were, he saw it firsthand when he saw you go out of Chanyeol's place.

He was carrying a new tray of hot food, replacing the old one that sat beside you. He sighed and looked at you with sad eyes as he switched the two trays.

"You need to eat something, sis," he softly said. "Your stomach barely has anything in it and you keep on smoking. You're killing yourself You know that, right?"

You sat up and every muscle in your body ached. You weren't sure if it was because you had lied on your bed for too long or if it was because the pain in your heart had somehow managed to seep through your bones.

"I want to, Baek. You wouldn't believe how hungry I am right now. It's my stomach that's acting up. I throw up everything I force myself to eat, so I might as well not eat anything at all."

Baekhyun shook his head as he ran his fingers through his hair. "If you keep this up, I'm going to tell mom and dad to call the family doctor and stab an IV in your veins. You need to eat, for fuck's sake."

You understood Baekhyun's frustration. You were frustrated at yourself too. You felt embarrassed that you let yourself become so sad to the point that your body was slowly killing you from the inside.

"I'm not leaving until you eat something."

You wanted to be left alone to wallow in your self-inflicted pain, so you grabbed the spoon and started taking small sips of soup.

Baekhyun sat on the edge of your bed. His eyes were watching you like a hawk, making sure that you put something in your body that wasn't water or nicotine.

He then noticed that your hand was trembling and that the soup was spilling out of the spoon, so he took it from your hands and started feeding you.