Addams Family Values

Chapter 9: The Honeymoon

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Debbie and Fester had gone to Hawaii for their honeymoon. Fester was sitting in the bathtub, with bubbles floating all around him, while Debbie stood by him with romantic music playing on a boom box that was on the floor.

"The key ingredient to a successful Hawaiian honeymoon is, romantic music." Debbie picked up the boom box and started sensually walking around the room.

"I ordered this cassette from Time Life. Five thousand of the worlds most romantic melodies."

"It's superb!" Fester praised. "What do you call this?"

"Number 438." She purred. "So, do you like romantic living?"

"I do, so far." Fester replied.

"I love romantic living! Oh, Fester how much do you love me?" Debbie cried.

"With all my soul." Fester declared.

"Would you do anything for me?!"

"Anything."

"Would you die for me?"

"Yes!"

Debbie gave him a sinister look. "Promise?"

She threw the boom box in the bath and the whole room started flickering. The bulbs around the mirror started exploding, and Fester's screams echoed through the room. Debbie smirked at the sight. Eventually Fester stopped screaming, and the room went dark.

"Pumpkin." Debbie cooed.

A light illuminated the room and Debbie looked down in shock and horror. Fester was sitting in the tub, alive, with a lightbulb in his mouth which he illuminated.

"Muffin!" He muttered, with the bulb still in his mouth.

...

Debbie was sitting in her bed watching tv, when the doors that separated her and Fester's room opened. Debbie looked over and saw Fester entering her room and a look of disgust crossed her face.

"Darling, I know your nervous. So am I!" Fester  told her.

Debbie's voice had an edge to it. "I'm not nervous. I'm upset."

"Because of the bathtub." Fester realized. He tried to grab the remote from her but she held on tight to it. Fester eventually snatched it away from her. "That was an accident!"

"I know."

"I'm fine!"

"I know."

"Don't give it another thought." Fester laid his head down in Debbie's lap. "Don't be frightened. This is as new to me as it is to you."

Debbie sat up a little and Fester sat up with her.

"Have you really never had sex?" Debbie asked.

Fester shook his head. "Never!"

"Well then, how do you know we're not having it right now?"