Addams Family Values

Chapter 13: Reunited

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In a bar, Debbie was sitting on a counter surrounded by men and they were all singing Macho Man.

"Macho, macho man! I've got to be a Macho Man! Macho, macho man! I've got to be a macho - hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!"

"Hey!" Debbie suddenly shouted. "Wait, what time is it, Jorge?" Debbie asked one of the guys.

"Uh, 6:25." He answered.

Debbie gasped and hopped off the counter. "Oops. Gotta go."

All the guys started protesting as she made her way out. Just before she left, she turned to the guys. "Wait here. It's my anniversary. I'll be right back." She said flirtatiously.

"Ah, your husband is a very lucky man!" One of the guys told her.

"Don't say that!" She snapped, before leaving.

Back at their house, Fester was sitting at the table practicing his toast. He picked up is glass and held it out.

"Cheers!" He said, before he decided that was no good.

...

Debbie pulled her car in front of the house and looked in her mirror practicing her crying.

"And Officer, my husband was in that house!" She exclaimed with fake sadness.

She fake cried some more, but then it turned into a crazed laugh.

...

Fester raised his glass again. "Happy anniversary, Debbie!" He nodded at that one and set his glass back down on the table, but he did it a bit too hard and it broke.

...

Debbie looked at her watch for a few seconds before the house blew up. Once it did, she looked straight ahead and didn't even flinch. She sat completely still as some of the debris landed on her car.

Once it was over, she got out of her car and looked at the burning house with a smile on her face.

"Help. Help." She said pathetically before walking towards the remains.

She kicked a toilet seat out of her way and smiled at her handiwork.

Suddenly, Fester came running out of the house, his face and clothes covered in ash, carrying their now burnt dinner.

"Sweetheart! Did you get the champagne?" He asked.

Debbie pulled a gun out of her purse and pointed it at him. "Freeze!" She bellowed.

Fester paused and looked at her confused. "Pookie?"

"I tried to make it look like an accident. I tried to give you some dignity, but oh no, not you!" She said.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I want you dead and I want your money!" She said bluntly.