Addams Family Values

Chapter 12: The Revolution

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The day of the play arrived and Gary and Becky were standing on the stage addressing the parents.

"Each summer, we take this occasion to celebrate this seminal event in American History." Gary announced.

Becky continued for him. "This year, we depict perhaps the most important day in our shared past: the First Thanksgiving!"

"A day for maize, the Native American word for corn, a terrific Turkey dinner, and brotherhood! So, white meat, and dark meat, take it away!"

The audience applauded as the music began. Kids dressed as turkeys and different types of food, leapt across the stage. Pugsley came out from behind one of the fake buildings dressed as a giant turkey.

"Eat us! Hey! It's Thanksgiving Day! Eat us! Hey! We make a nice buffet! We lost the race with farmer Ed! Eat us cause we're good and dead!"

The campers put finger guns to their head and pretended to blow their brains out.

"White man, or red man, from East or the South! Chop off our legs, and put 'em in your mouth!"

Some of the campers lifted their leg to another camper who pretended to take a bite.

Pugsley spread his arms out.

"Eat me!"

"Sautéed or barbecued!"

"Eat me!"

"We once were pets but now we're food! We won't stay fresh for very long! So eat us before we finish this song! Eat us before we finish this song!"

...

Debbie was standing in front of her mirror with a black veil over her face, pretending to cry.

"Thank you! It was a senseless tragedy!" She fake sobbed.

She lifted the veil off and wiped her eyes before letting out a laugh.

She went over to an opened gift box that had a bunch of dynamite in it, and set the timer to go off at 6:30. She then carefully placed the lid of the present on top of it.

...

"Angel! I'm going out for just a minute! I forgot the champagne!" Debbie entered the kitchen where Fester was cooking, carrying the large gift.

"Our three week anniversary! I'll go!" Fester offered.

"No, no! You're working hard enough!" She insisted. "I'll just put your present on the table! Don't peek!"

She placed the box in the table and Fester came out to look at it, all excited.

"Oh, please, please!" Fester begged. "What is it? Is it...string?" He guessed.

"Ya never know!"

Unbeknownst to them, Thing had jumped into their window sill and was looking at them.