The Only One I Could Ever Love [Sanegiyuu]

1: Nothing.

Giyuu's POV:

(Cursing, Suicide Attempt, Eating Disorder)

Nothing. I feel nothing. I feel like an empty, bottomless pit. No happiness, no joy. Nothing. I constantly have the feeling of sadness and anxiety wash over me. Filling the pit thats inside me. Except. It doesn't fill. It never does. No matter how much sadness and anxiety wash over me. It never fills. Its missing something. I'm missing something. No matter how many times I fake a smile, try to fake a laugh. Its never actually real. Nothing I do is real. Nothing I do matters. I'm not normal. No matter how may times I've blocked out my cries. No matter how many times I've tried to stay strong, I'm still weak. As weak as I was back then. I couldn't save my best friend. I couldn't even save my own sister. How pathetic can I get.

Sitting here at the edge on a mountain ledge, thinking this thoughts about how useless one can be. It gives me an idea. One of the best ideas I've ever had. I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid of death. Standing up I pull my hair tie out, letting my long black hair blow around in the wind that now covers the land.

I could finally be free. Free from this cruel world I was placed in. Pats of water begin hitting my face as the world begins to cry. The rain will cover any sound I make on the way down at least. Stepping closer to the edge I close my eyes and relax my body. I was ready.

I walk forwards about to go off, but instead I'm dragged back by a strong force. Whatever it was, they were out of breath. Did the run over here to save me. me? Why would they have done that. No one would've noticed anyway.

"What do you think your doing!" A loud but familiar voice hits my ears, making my open my eyes to confront the figure. Tears mix with the rain, and run out of my eyes. "S..Shinazugawa?" I murmur out. I wanted to say more. Like ask why. "You idiot! Why would you even-" He yells before cutting himself off. I wasn't paying much attention but. Tears were forming in his eyes. I've never seen him cry.

I let out a quick short breath as he pull me in for a tight hug, burying his face into my neck. Feeling his cold, shivering lips on my neck made me shiver. Which did not go unnoticed by Shinazugawa. My lips begin to tremble, now just realising how cold it was. Scooping me up, Shinazugawa began to walk towards his estate with me. His was closer, but I wanted to got to mine. In fact. Why was I even still here. I should be dead right now.

We enter his estate, him still not putting my down. His house was way better then mine. He actually had furniture. I only had a bed and a bathroom. I didnt need anything else. Not like I had friends to come over to my house. Plus, it wasn't like I ate aswell. We walk into what seems to be his bedroom. Why were we here. He places me into his bed and lays the cover over me, without saying a word.

What was going on. "Get some sleep. You deserve it." He whispered just loud enough for me to hear. He slides the door shut and I can hear his footsteps slowing fade into the distance. Why. Why. I should be dead. Not here in someone's bed who just saved me from trying to kill myself. I shouldn't be here.

Tears begin to form in my eyes and I grab one of Shinazugawa's pillows and burry my face into it. I know its rude, and impolite to do so, but I didnt want to be heard. I didnt want to be though as weak. Even if thats what I am. It became an unhealthy habit, then again, everything I did was an unhealthy habit. Not eating, Crying myself to sleep. Constantly thinking about killing myself. I need help. And I know I do.

My eyelids begin to feel heavy and soon close leaving the room, and the world blank..

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A lot of emotions for the first chapter aye :')

Hope you enjoy the emo depressed Giyuu-

730 Words.